Better left uncovered
by Vixster
Summary: Janeways past comes back to haunt her, whilst Tom gains an old friend. Please R&R.
1. Chapter 1 Alone

Better left uncovered 

Author – Vixster

Rating - G

Disclaimer – I don't own any of the characters or the show, or anything at all.

Summary – Janeway's past comes back to haunt her, and Tom gains an old friend.

Authors Note – I wrote this story after a conversation with a friend, about the moments in life when your really depressed, and, also about decisions you make that in hindsight you would have made different.

Chapter One - Alone 

Janeway sat in her ready room reading an engineering report, when she heard the door chime.

"Enter" she sighed; it had been a long day.

Chakotay walked in, smiling his dimpled smile "Dinner. My quarters?"

"Why not" Janeway smiled. 

"19.00"

"I'll be there," she said getting up, as though to leave and then changed her route to the window.

Chakotay wasn't sure whether she meant for him to leave or not. The captain had been acting strangely recently; he decided to ask her about it "A penny for them?"

"Oh. Nothing, I was lost in the past for a minute." She turned round and smiled in an effort to reassure him. 

Nodding and striding through the door he made a mental note to talk to her about it again this evening. He walked to his chair and took a seat, before noticing Paris was gazing absently at him. Thinking about it Chakotay realised Paris hadn't been his usual cocky self either since the last data stream from earth. He turned back to the Lieutenant only to see that he had turned away. 

The rest of the shift wore on, nothing eventful happening. As soon as shift change came, Janeway practically bolted off the bridge, apparently on her way to engineering. 

After talking to Neelix about crew moral, especially Paris and the Captain, Chakotay headed for engineering to catch up with his dinner date. However, when he arrived she was nowhere in sight and according to B'Elanna, hadn't been in engineering since she came to check up on how the repairs to the replicator system were going, yesterday. Chakotay headed back to his quarters confused, and concerned. His anxiety only increased when Janeway failed to show for dinner that evening. 

Checking with the computer, he found that she was in her quarters, he tried to call her over the conn, but she didn't answer. He punched his override commands into her door pad frantically, receiving strange looks from passers by. 

On entering her quarters, he made out her shape stood at the view port with her back to him. The lights were off. He walked slowly over to her before reaching her and saying her name "Kathryn", she didn't answer for a while. Then he turned her to face him, afraid, remembering the last time he had seen her like this in the void.

Her tearstained face and the photo that she held tightly against her chest tore at his heart. 

"What is it?"

"Go, Chakotay. I want to be alone" she turned away again.

"I won't stand back and let you do this to yourself again, Kathryn" he said, sadness eminent in his voice.

"I'll see you on the bridge tomorrow" she whispered, as though to reassure him that she wasn't going to hide away and stop being the captain.

"You know where I am," he said, laying a hand on her shoulder, before leaving.

-Fin-


	2. Chapter 2 Guilt

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the ship, or anything.

Better left uncovered-Part 2- Guilt 

Lieutenant Tom Paris sat alone in his quarters, re-reading the letter that had changed his life. He had received it only a week ago, but it felt like longer. Since then his heart had been in his throat.

He had been trying to keep busy. Hell, he'd even increased his sickbay duties, which had caused both the Doctor and Commander Chakotay to question him, both concerned about his new "workaholic" attitude. It helped him a bit if he worked; it kept his mind off reality and the changes in his personal life, which he had no control over. God, was he being selfish or what, trying to distract himself when there were others suffering just as much, if not more.

The Captain hadn't spoken to Paris and he hadn't spoken to her since the last data stream from earth. It wasn't entirely his fault of course, Janeway had spent the last week locked away in her ready room when on duty, and locked away in her quarters when not. Tom hadn't wanted to intrude, and although he felt guilty about it, he couldn't face it and he guessed if she was feeling the same way he was she'd want to be alone anyway.

He put the pad back in the draw, grabbed his jacket from the bed and headed for sickbay, wiping a stray tear from his cheek on the way.

-Fin-

If you want to find out what the hell all this emotion is about, you'll have to review, because I'm not writing anymore unless you guys review.


	3. Chapter 3 Doctors Orders

Disclaimer:  I don't own the ship, the crew, or anything. Chapter 3 – Doctors Orders 

The doctor was in sickbay as Lieutenant Paris marched through the doors. He looked up, "What can I do for you Lieutenant?"

"Actually Doc its more a case of what I can do for you", Tom said with a failed attempt at a smile.

"I see. I'm afraid I can't accommodate you, Mr Paris", the Doctor said grimly, a look of concern on his holographic face.

"What, why the hell not?" Tom said raising his voice, fighting a loosing battle to control his anger.

"The Commander and I thought it best if you took a few days off, you've been over working yourself recently", the Doctor tried to be sympathetic, but the look on Paris' face equalled that of the Captain's death glare.

"I'm going to see Chakotay, I thought he'd be glad I was taking my work so seriously," Tom almost yelled.

With that Tom stormed out of sickbay, maybe he had been a bit rash in his attitude towards the doctor, but working was his only source of relief for now. Out in the corridor Tom let out a long sigh, god, he hadn't slept in days. Ignoring this he asked the computer to locate the commander.

"Commander Chakotay is in his quarters" came the dull reply.

So emotionless he thought, if only he could be like that. Usually when something bad happened he'd drink his way out of it, but not this time, he was a reformed character.

Stepping into the turbo lift he leaned back against the cool wall. Closing his eyes he could see her dancing behind them, smiling, laughing, sighing he whispered "Why? Why her?" The turbo lift came to a stop and he got out, his anger had dissipated but he was going to make sure he could do both his shifts in sickbay tomorrow.

Walking stoically down the corridor his face a mask of determination and shut out pain, he lingered outside the Captain's quarters. Deciding not to ring the chime he carried on up the corridor to the door of the Commander's quarters. Taking a deep breath he rang the chime, "Well here goes nothing" he muttered.

-Fin-


	4. Chapter 4 The Captains Letter

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, the ship or anything.

Chapter 4 – The Captains Letter

The Commander strode onto the bridge after a heated conversation with Lieutenant Paris, which had ended with the lieutenant being relieved of his duties for the foreseeable future. He greeted the bridge crew with a polite "Good morning", before retiring to the Captain's ready room.

The Captain had decided she would control the ship from the privacy of her quarters this concerned him deeply. Especially, as she had refused point blank to give him an explanation for her decision. Sighing, Chakotay seated himself behind her desk wondering how long she would leave him to play acting Captain, last time it had been two months. 

He turned on the computer monitor and picked up the pile of pads he had placed on the desk, when something caught his eye. A stray pad was laying upturned on the coffee table. Wondering what it was, he walked to the table and turned over the pad. Seeing it was addressed to the Captain he hesitated, before deciding that it might hold a clue to her behaviour of recent.

The letter went as follows:

Captain Kathryn Janeway,

                                            I regret to inform you that Cadet Elizabeth Paris was killed in a shuttle accident last week. Elizabeth died with the knowledge that her friends would live. For the sacrifice she made I am proud of her, and I know you will be too. She was too much like her mother - willing to take a chance for others.

She was well loved by her fellow cadets and will not be forgotten. Elizabeth touched the hearts of everyone that had the honour of knowing her. She was the best daughter anyone could ask for, and she will live on in my heart.

Kathryn, I know this will be hard for you, but she loved you, idolised you and strove to be the woman you are.

Admiral Owen Paris

Chakotay put the pad down. Hell, now he knew why Tom was so upset, but what he couldn't figure out was where Kathryn fitted into the picture. She obviously had something to do with the Cadet, but what he couldn't decipher.

-Fin-


	5. Chapter 5 Secrets

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the crew, the ship, or anything at all.

Chapter 5 - Secrets 

After much deliberating, Chakotay had decided to go and ask Tom how the Captain was involved with his sister. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, but now stood outside the doors to the holodeck he wasn't so sure. Taking a deep breath Chakotay strode through the doors, upon entering he saw Tom working on a car.

                                                 *                *                *                    *

Tom looked up to see the Commander standing over him. Hell, what did he want, hadn't he slapped him down enough today.

"Tom" Chakotay said quietly, "I'm sorry".

Tom glowered, how the hell did he know, had he been reading his mail. No, it was more likely the Captain had told him. Sighing he turned to face him, "She told you?"

"No, I found the letter she received from your father," Chakotay stated.

Tom stood there shocked; he'd gone through her mail. God he must be worried.

"Tom I was wondering if you could shed some light on how this effects the Captain?" a concerned expression on his face.

"Don't you think you should be asking her?" he replied. So he didn't know the full story, well he sure as hell wasn't going to be the one to tell him.

"Tom", Chakotays voice held a warning.

Tom turned back to the car, "You can't order me to tell you, and besides, if she wanted you to know she'd have told you."

"Well, you know where I am if you want to talk", with that Chakotay turned and stalked out of the holodeck, realising that he wasn't going to get anything out of Tom.

Tom sighed inwardly, talk to him, why would he want to he could handle this on his own. It was Chakotay that was making it harder for him by not allowing him to work. 

                                   *                           *                             *                                 *

Chakotay wandered through the corridors, not sure where to go or what to do. He wasn't really surprised Tom hadn't told him. He was right after all; if Kathryn wanted him to know she would have told him.

Chakotay walked through the corridors a bit longer, before arriving at the mess hall. He hesitated before stepping inside, not sure whether he wanted to be treated to a Neelix special. Looking around Neelix was nowhere in sight, the galley was blacked out, and the lights in the main area were considerably dimmer than normal. Deciding Neelix must have closed up and gone to his quarters for the night, he went to the replicator. Ordering a glass of white wine he sat down on a seat by the window, starring at the vast expanse that was space. Not unlike his life at the moment, empty. Kathryn was shut away, why, he didn't know, and doubted he would find out. It was then that he thought of the one person on this ship that had been the Captain's friend before Voyager, before the delta quadrant, Tuvok. 

Chakotay started up, before remembering it was the middle of the night. Placing the glass of wine on the table, he deliberated. He and Tuvok weren't the best of friends, but he had provided him with insight into the Captains past last time she shut herself away.

Half an hour later Chakotay was sat in Tuvoks quarters, whilst the Commander ordered him a beverage. 

When Tuvok returned with the beverage, a cup of tea, Chakotay began "I'm sorry to call you in the middle of the night. Tuvok, I need your help." Chakotay looked at the impassive Vulcan in front of him.

"I found this, it belongs to the Captain." Chakotay handed Tuvok the Captains letter. The Vulcan read it and raised an eyebrow. 

After several minutes, he said, "I see. How commander, do you believe me to be of assistance in relation to this letter?"

Chakotay stood up, looking Tuvok squarely in the eye, " What does Cadet Paris have to do with Kathryn?"

Tuvok looked as torn as a Vulcan could possibly look. His knowledge of human emotions meant that he was now able to understand why the Captain had shut herself away. The letter also explained Mr Paris' desperation to work recently. However, he was not entirely sure whether he should share his knowledge with Chakotay. 

"Commander, I am afraid that I cannot help you in this matter." seeing Chakotay was about to butt in, he swiftly continued "It is not my place to inform you of the captains personal arrangements. However, if she wishes you to know she will tell you."

Chakotay nodded, knowing that it would be pointless to argue logic with a Vulcan. However, he couldn't resist adding "I'm just afraid for her." 

Tuvok nodded, he had seen the Captain in this state before, and he too was concerned for his friend. However, he felt that she would come to terms with the situation in her own time. He decided to go and see her in the morning, and offer to help her meditate, in the hope it might relieve some of her pain.

Chakotay seeing Tuvok was retreating into silence decided to leave. "Goodnight Tuvok" he sighed, quickly exiting. 

So, Tuvok knew and wouldn't tell him for the same reason as Tom. Tuvok understood her pain that much was clear. Short of going to see the Captain and asking outright what the hell was going on, he couldn't think of anything else he could do to find out. He decided to sleep on it - a good sleep might make him see things more clearly.

-Fin-


	6. Chapter 6 Help

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, the ship, or anything at all.

Chapter 6 – Help 

It had been over a week since Captain Janeway had retreated to the privacy of her quarters. The doctors concern had grown, as the days passed and nothing changed. He knew how little she cared for herself under normal circumstances, and he dreaded to think of what she was doing to herself now. On this thought he had accessed the ships replicator logs, in particular the logs for the replicator in the Captains quarters.

The doctor sat at his desk in sickbay scrolling through the logs. "Ah, as I thought" he exclaimed. The replicator had been used to produce eight cups of coffee over the course of the time the Captain had spent in self-inflicted separation. 

The doctor thought about telling Chakotay, but then ruled it out – knowing how shut out and hurt he already felt. Sighing, he realised that it was probably best he go and check up on the Captain's health. Standing up, he strode over to a wall panel, which revealed that Captain Janeway was awake and alone – not surprisingly. Striding meaningfully out of sickbay and into the nearby turbolift with clenched fists, and a pad containing the replicator logs as evidence – in case she tried to tell him he was mistaken, he headed for the Captains quarters.

Standing outside her quarters staring at the dull grey doors, he began to wonder whether this was a good idea, after all, she did want to be alone, and not being one to intrude the doctor reconsidered his plan. Eventually deciding it was for her own good, he rang the door chime, not expecting an answer, but it was only polite. After waiting several seconds, the doctor keyed his override command codes into the door pad. 

The doors slid open revealing a dark, quiet room. It had an air of sadness in it, or so he thought. Waiting a few moments to see if anyone would acknowledge his presence, when they didn't he called softly "Captain." Getting no reply, he began to worry. 

"Computer lights" he whispered panic eminent in his voice. Immediately the room was lit up with a dim light. Several empty coffee cups were strewn on a table in the centre of the room, a rug was thrown over the arm of a chair, pictures were dotted here and there, to the doctor it looked relatively normal. However, he did not often come to the Captain's quarters, and so couldn't be completely sure what normal was for her. 

He crept towards the bedroom, which was still in darkness, wondering what state he was going to find her in. Crossing through the doorway he could make out the bed and dressing table, he could also make out a human form lying on the bed, huddled up in a foetal position. Not knowing what to do, he whispered "Captain." Again there was no answer.

He took a few tentative steps towards her, until he was standing over her. Her eyes were squeezed tightly shut, as though trying to shut out reality. Her small frame was shaking, and he realised she was crying. 

The doctor put a gentle hand on her shoulder "Captain, I'm here to help you", she jumped as though she had been in a trance. Looking at the doctor, the room and then the picture she still clung to – past memories that could never be recaptured, or so it seemed. Sighing, she looked him in the eye and told him she didn't need his help, that she would be okay, and that she just needed time. He nodded, not fully understanding the situation in the first place didn't help, but he was determined to make sure she took care of herself. 

"Captain, I must insist that you eat something," he said. 

"No, I'm fine. I.." she trailed off groaning in pain and clutching her pale, tearstained head. 

The doctor opened his medkit and removed a tricorder, but the Captain put a hand up and waved it away. 

"Just a headache" she grimaced.

"I can give you something to help with the pain," the doctor pleaded, somewhat helplessly. Attempting to scan her again.

"No. I deserve to suffer. Now go, get out. I don't need your help," she said, her voice raising a few decibels. 

Not entirely ready to give up on her, he decided to come back later. In the meantime he could get some more information and support from other members of the crew. Long gone now, were his ideas of not putting Chakotay through any more suffering. He was going to help her whether she liked it or not. 

"I'll be back later," he said touching her shoulder. It was then that he realised she was wet, the bedclothes were wet, and she felt cold. He nodded turning to leave, now even more concerned. If he let her stay like that she'd catch pneumonia from her own tears.

He heard her let out a long, shaky sigh as he left. Shaking his head, he headed back to sickbay. There was no way he was going to let her wallow in self pity for god knows what reason, at the detriment of her body and her life.

-Fin-


	7. Chapter 7 Revelations

Disclaimer: I don't own the ship, the characters, or anything at all.

Chapter 7 – Revelations 

Tom walked slowly, quietly, invisibly into sickbay. The doctor was in his office; he looked up at the sound of the door.

"Tom, are you alright?" he nearly kicked himself for saying that. Of course he wasn't alright, he'd just lost his sister. A sister he hadn't seen in 6 years, a sister he would never see again. 

"I want more" he put an empty hypospray on the desk in front of the doctor, who frowned.

"Tom, you know I can't give you anymore. You've had as much as possible." The doctor looked up at him, trying to make eye contact, but Tom evaded his gaze.

"Please, I need to sleep" he said pleadingly.

"I know that. Maybe it would help if you talked about it."

Tom closed his eyes. "Alright."

"I can't sleep. Every time I close my eyes she's there and if she's not….", he trailed off tears welling behind his closed eyelids. 

"If she's not" the doctor prompted.

"My mom" he choked out, turning to look through the window at sickbay. So quiet, so peaceful, he thought, so unlike me at the moment.

"What happened?" the doctor whispered, encouragingly. 

"She died in a shuttle crash too. Liz was too young to remember it, but I…" he shook his head. "I was there, I watched while she died" his voice barely audible, but clearly tinged with regret.

"It was just the three of us from then on. I tried so hard, but after a while I couldn't do it anymore. So, I drank away my misery. She managed to pull me out of it, only for me to go and…. Well you know what happened." The doctor nodded sombrely. 

"She visited me you know, dad hated it, but she still came" he smiled through the tears. "We were close. I let her down though." He stopped and sank down to the floor.

The doctor saw an opportunity to find out what role the Captain played in all of this.

"The Captain?", he questioned. 

Tom laughed then, "The Captain never had the chance to know her like I did. She loved her though, very much. That was obvious enough." Tom put his hand to his head. "Liz idolised her, even before we got stuck out here. She was the glistening example of what a Starfleet officer should be." He sighed, "I was the bad example. She didn't love me any less for it though I know that. The Captain came for dinner a couple of times. Liz loved it when dad brought her home with him, she used to read her bedtime stories, and tell her stories about her own life. Liz showed her school projects and stuff, all she wanted was to impress her."

"It would seem that she did" the doctor interjected.

Tom just laughed, "Yeah." He paused, before continuing, " She missed mom. She'd never admit it but she did. I'd here her crying at night, it broke my heart. There was a place in her heart she was trying to fill. It would seem she did in the end. She needed a mother and she found one." He paused, as though contemplating whether or not he should go on. "You met Deanna Troi when you went to Jupiter station." The doctor nodded "Yes, she was a pleasant young woman." 

Tom smiled, "Liz was full of praise for her. I wonder how she's feeling now? Liz was a surrogate daughter to her."

For a moment he sat in silence, when he spoke his voice was filled with pride. "Last time I saw her she was waving me off. So proud that I was out of prison and doing my duty. I remember her hugging me, telling me how she couldn't wait till I got home. Then she left, walked out of my life and to her death."

He broke down then. The doctor got up and went to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "She wouldn't want you to be like this, because of her. Would she?" 

"No", wiping the tears from his face. Tom stood up pulling his uniform down.

He looked at the doctor, who patted him on the shoulder. "Get some sleep, Tom" 

Tom nodded. He left sickbay with a new, positive attitude. He had gotten everything off his chest, without letting the Captain's secret slip. Liz hadn't known, why should anyone else. She was gone, but she would always live on in his memories. Things weren't the same for the Captain; she had to few memories to treasure. 

-Fin-


	8. Chapter 8 Fever

Disclaimer: I don't own the ship, the characters, or anything at all.

Chapter 8 – Fever 

The doctor was stood outside the Captain's door for the second time that day. He had heard from Chakotay that the Captain hadn't come to the bridge during the red alert, this afternoon. What's more she hadn't even bothered to check what had happened. It was very unlike the Captain not to act on a red alert. Chakotay was deeply concerned, and so was he. The Commander had been on the verge of coming with him, but the doctor had managed to persuade him not to.

Having keyed his override code into the Captain's door pad he walked in, through the main living area - unchanged from this morning, and into the Captain's bedroom. She was still in bed, apparently asleep. It didn't appear to be a peaceful sleep though, she was crying and muttering.

The doctor knelt at her bedside and opened his medkit, at least she couldn't argue if she was asleep, he thought. Pulling out his tricorder he began to scan her, all the readings pointed to a nasty case of flu. Deciding to take her to sickbay – at least he could monitor her there, and she wouldn't be alone, the doctor tapped his commbadge. 

"Doctor to transporter room 1. Transport the captain and myself to sickbay immediately."

"Aye, sir", came the sound response.

Within seconds, the Captain and the doctor materialized in sickbay. The doctor pulled a tray of hyposprays over to the biobed the Captain was lying on. He injected her with a sedative, to help her sleep easily, and a course of medicine to combat the flu symptoms. The doctor was tempted to inject her with some nutrients, but decided against it. He would make her eat something, tomorrow.

Pushing the tray of hyposprays back into a corner near his office, the doctor went to get his patient a sickbay gown. Returning with the gown, he removed the photo in the Captain's hand without a second glance. Once changed he left her to rest.

Next morning, Tom entered sickbay, feeling a little more refreshed. He wanted to thank the doctor for his help the night before. He stopped dead when he saw the Captain lying unconscious on a biobed.

"Doc", Tom called.

"In here, Mr Paris" the doctor called from his office. Tom rushed in, to find the doctor working through a pile of pads behind his desk.

"What happened?" Tom asked quietly.

"Nasty case of the flu" the doctor said placidly.

"Oh, right. Well I just stopped by to say thanks for yesterday."

"I'm glad I was able to help" the doctor said, smiling.

Tom turned to leave, but the doctor called after him, "Tom, perhaps you could help the Captain?"

"Me", Tom looked taken aback. "I don't know. She knew Liz. I still have nightmares about it doc. I need to be able to deal with it myself, before I talk to the Captain."

"I thought you were able to sleep better last night", the doctor said unconvinced.

Tom gulped and averted his eyes, "I was."

The doctor stared at him, "But."

Tom looked increasingly uncomfortable. "I woke up after a nightmare last night, every time I closed my eyes I saw it over and over. So I um, well I…."

"Well, you what, Mr Paris" the doctor said impatiently.

"I replicated a hypospray." Tom looked at the floor guiltily.

"I see. Maybe I should ask Lieutenant Torres to pull the plug on your replicator, until you learn how to use it properly"; the doctor said angrily, his faced creased in a frown.

"No. Don't involve B'Elanna, ok. I wont do it again", Tom said, grimacing at how pathetic it sounded.

A groan from the nearby biobed stopped the doctor from replying. Instead he rushed over to the Captain's side, whilst Tom made a hasty exit.

The Captain opened her eyes to see the unwelcome face of the doctor, looking down at her. The sadness that filled her hazy blue eyes, as the memories came flooding back to her was unbearable, even for the doctor, who instinctively looked away. 

"Captain, welcome back to the world of the living", he said, kicking himself when he realised just what he had said. God, how tactless he was.

The Captain looked away, turning her gaze to the hand, which had previously held the photo. Spotting it on the console next to her, she snatched it, held it close, and turned away from the doctor. Sighing, the doctor scanned her – her temperature was coming down. Next job was to make her eat something, anything. 

-Fin-


	9. Chapter 9 Understanding

Disclaimer: I don't own the ship, the crew, or anything at all.

Chapter 9 – Understanding 

Chakotay walked into sickbay, to a highly unusual sight. The doctor was stood over the Captain with what appeared to be a pot of food. He was poking a spoon, half full of the food in the dish at her, exclaiming, "Captain, if you don't eat you won't get better." The Captain's response was to bury her face further into her pillow. If the situation hadn't been so serious Chakotay might have laughed, as it was it frightened him to see her like this.

The doctor walked over to him, indicating at his office. Chakotay followed him; the doctor sat down behind his desk and sighed, placing the bowl of food on the desk in front of him. 

"Commander, perhaps you could try and get the Captain to eat something. Before, I have to resort to a hypospray full of nutrients." The doctor's face displayed a mixture of concern and annoyance.

"I'll try", he said picking up the dish of food off the doctors desk. Hmmm he thought, no wonder she didn't want to eat it, it certainly didn't look or smell appetising. 

Walking over to her biobed, he pulled up a stool by the side of it. 

"Kathryn, you have to eat something. We need you to get better, the crew need you to get better, and I need you to get better." Chakotay hoped the personal plea would get through to her, continuing he said "I cant run this ship on my own, Kathryn."

She didn't move. Sighing inwardly, Chakotay touched her hand; she flinched but didn't move her hand away. 

"Can I see your photograph?" Chakotay asked. She was still for a minute, before unclenching the fist that held the photo tightly to her. Taking it from her hand, he saw a young girl. He'd seen pictures of this girl before, in her ready room, her quarters, Cadet Elizabeth Paris, evidently from before Voyager left Earth.

Looking at it he felt twinges of sadness. He didn't even know her, but her sparkling blue eyes possessed belief, knowledge, but most of all love and trust. Trust in the very organization that had let her down in the end, was this what Kathryn was thinking, feeling? No, she was feeling something far more that was obvious enough. It was destroying her.

After a few minutes, he said, "She was a pretty child." He heard her sob loudly, choking on her tears. He laid a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"Tell me", he whispered, gently. 

After a few minutes of silence, he asked, "What happened between the two of you? I know she loved you." More sobbing, then a strangled "I let her down, I deserted her."

"No, you didn't", Chakotay said, not believing that Kathryn could ever let anyone down.

"You don't understand", she whispered. 

"Then tell me, I want to understand", he replied pleadingly. She shook her head.

Tom entered sickbay, to find the Commander sat talking to the Captain well it was more a one - way conversation. After a few minutes, noting he was getting very little or no response, he decided to head over. Chakotay looked up at him, as he pulled up a stool next to the Commanders.

"Hi", Tom said. He saw the worry in Chakotay's face, it was echoed in the face of every member of the crew.

Chakotay nodded at him, got up and left. Tom just stared after him, now what, he hadn't expected Chakotay to leave. He obviously thought that the Captain and he had something to talk about that was better said alone.

God, what should he say? 

Taking a deep breath, he whispered, "She loved you, Captain."

"I know. I loved her too, Tom. Too much, sometimes, it would overwhelm me. Being able to be around her, but not being able to tell her." She was crying hard now, Tom moved closer, and took her hand tightly in his. "I never told her, never told her how much I loved her, how much it hurt to be away from her", she was gasping for breath, her emotions overwhelming her. 

Hell, he'd never have thought he would ever see the great Captain Janeway like this. Never. Tears trickling down his cheeks, he pulled her up and hugged her tightly. Drawing some comfort himself from the closeness of the hug. 

"I see her, Tom. She's in my dreams, hating me, blaming me. Oh, god. What have I done?" she whispered, still gasping for breath.

"You haven't done anything wrong. Captain, you were protecting her. God knows what terrible things might have happened to her had it not been for you", he said, trying to sound reassuring.  

She shook her head, "No. Tom, I let her down."

He sighed, knowing that Liz wouldn't see it that way. 

"Captain, you never let her down. You loved her, cared for her, and she loved you back."

Sobbing loudly, she said, "I wasn't there for her, Tom. I couldn't protect her, the way I should have."

Tom sighed again, why was she so stubborn? Didn't she know that if anyone had let Liz down, it was him. He pondered whether or not to mention, Liz's references to the Captain in the letters she sent him. Deciding against it on the grounds it might upset her more. He decided to try and get her to eat.

"Captain" he paused, "she wouldn't want you to be like this. You need to eat." She pulled back, and looked him square in the face, her pale face wet with tears.

"Please" Tom whispered. He handed her the bowl of food she took it hesitantly. She looked as though she might eat it, he thought. Suddenly she grew very pale, if that were possible, dropping the bowl her hand went to her mouth. Tom instinctively knowing what was going on grabbed a bowl from a nearby console. Holding it for her as she vomited. He stroked her back trying to offer some comfort. She was hot and clammy again, "Doc", he called.

The doctor appeared from his office to see Tom holding a bowl into which the Captain was vomiting. He grabbed the tray of hyposprays and a tricorder, heading over to the Captains biobed.

"What happened?" he asked, concern tinged his voice.

"She was going to eat, and then…." Tom replied.

"I see."

Realising she had finished, Tom helped her lie back down on the biobed. 

"Sorry", she whispered.

"It's ok", Tom said, trying to smile. He had never thought he would see her look this helpless. Not her, she always stood above everything else, nothing touched her, only death.

The doctor stood over her with a hypospray. "Captain, I am going to inject you with nutrients", the doctor said. Noticing she didn't reply, the doctor realised that she had passed out. He injected her with a hypospray, and turned to Tom.

"Mr Paris, may I see you for a moment?"

Tom nodded removing his arm from around the Captain. Looking at her, lying there so pale and still, tore at his heart.

Following the doctor into his office, he asked, "She's going to be ok, right, doc?"

"Of course, she's going to be ok. When she wakes up she'll feel a little groggy, but she's on the road to recovery. However, I must warn you at this rate it's going to be a long road to recovery. She's just too weak." The doctor walked to his desk, then turned around. 

"You seemed to be making progress, Mr Paris," he said dryly.

"Yeah, I think I was. It's going to take time doc. She blames herself. She wont let anyone talk her round." He smiled sadly, "Liz was just as stubborn."

"Well, it will be a while before she wakes up. Might I suggest you try and get some sleep."

Tom nodded, "Call me, when she wakes up."

The doctor smiled and nodded, before going to sit down behind his desk. Tom walked out of the office, through sickbay, taking one last glance at the Captains sleeping form, before heading for his quarters. He was going to help her; he would get through to her, somehow. He could see now how deep this went. He sighed, thinking how cruel fate had been to her, taking something so precious. After all she went through, a tear glided down his cheek. His thoughts turned to how he was never going to see his little sister again, never going to laugh with her, never going to receive another letter. 

Entering his quarters, he went to the replicator and ordered a hot chocolate, before sitting down to re-read 'her last letter' as he had now titled it.

-Fin-


	10. Chapter 10 The Present

Disclaimer: I don't own the ship, the characters, or anything at all.

Chapter 10 – The present 

Chakotay was slumped in his command chair on the bridge, contemplating what was going on. He had been down to sickbay, where the doctor had updated him on the Captain's condition. The doctor also said that Tom had made some progress in talking to her. He sighed, she had opened up to Tom. Why wouldn't she open up to him? He was supposed to be her best friend, her second in command. Hell, stop being so selfish, he told himself. He was glad she was coming to terms with the Cadet's death, he just wished he knew why she was so upset about it in the first place. Kathryn was no more emotional about death than anyone else, yes, she felt the loss of a crewmember deeply, but that was understandable. She was the Captain, she was supposed to protect her crew, and she saw a crewmembers death as a failure on her part. Yet this Cadet, her death wasn't Kathryn's fault, but there was an emotional attachment, a big one. He remembered her telling him about how she became a recluse after her father's death that was after her near death experience three years ago. She is like that now, hiding in her bed, but why? Why is Tom's sister so important to Kathryn? Why, most of all, does she blame herself for her death? It just didn't make sense, and no one wanted to provide clarification.

His thoughts were disrupted by the entrance of Tom Paris, who strode out of the turbo lift and down to the helm. Chakotay noticed how tired he looked, the bags under his eyes, and the cocky smile were nowhere to be seen. Chakotay thought it best to leave him be for now, after all he had a right to feel like that having just lost his sister. 

Looking around the bridge at the familiar faces, studying data on various subjects. He decided to check on Kathryn. Standing up, he straightened his uniform, and handed the bridge over to Tuvok, who simply nodded. 

Walking out the turbo lift on deck 5 he felt apprehensive, if she was awake – which was unlikely, would she be anymore responsive towards him than the last time? Entering sickbay, he saw her still form lying on the biobed. The doctor approached him, "I presume you've come to check on her progress."

"Yes", Chakotay simply stated.

"There is no change, she's sleeping again now", the doctor said, his expression grim.

Chakotay sighed, "She still won't eat?"

"No."

"Why? Why is she doing this to herself?" Chakotay whispered, more to himself than the doctor, who simply nodded. 

"You had better ask Mr Paris. He appears to be the only one who can get very much from her," the doctor said, exasperated.

"I'll be on the bridge, call me when she wakes up." The doctor nodded his assent, before retuning to his office.

Chakotay decided to stop by the mess hall, before heading back to the bridge. As soon as he entered, Neelix headed straight for him, "Commander, its nice to see you again. You haven't been in the mess hall recently. Anything you'd like me to get you?"

"I'll have whatever's for lunch," Chakotay said, unenthusiastically.

"Coming right up."

Chakotay went to sit down at a table in the back corner of the room, which was deserted. No sooner had he sat down, did Neelix reappear with leola root stew. 

"Commander, might I speak to you for a minute", Neelix asked.

"Certainly, have a seat", Chakotay said, knowing what Neelix was going to say.

"Well I have noticed how low crew moral is recently, due to the…. well you know…." he trailed off looking uncomfortable.

Chakotay was just staring at him, after a few moments he decided to speak again, "How is the Captain?"

"She's on the mend. Neelix, if there is a problem with crew moral, you're the moral officer, organise some entertainment or something."

"Well that's good news. As for the entertainment, I'm sure I could get Ensign Kim to perform," he said grinning.

"Well enjoy your meal." With that Neelix left, seeing that the Commander wasn't really in the mood for company. He seemed unhappy, not surprisingly. He was quieter than usual, and it wasn't like him not to get involved in helping the crew. He was obviously taking the Captains attitude of recent personally.

Chakotay ate a couple of mouthfuls of the stew before deciding he wasn't hungry. Getting up, he noticed the long faces of the crew around him. Sighing, he realised that everyone was missing the Captain, her spirit, and her determination. He also realised that he was no replacement for her, especially not when he was moping around after her.

As the turbolift doors opened he noticed that Tom had left the bridge, as had Harry. Probably off to play on Captain Proton, he thought. Well, he decided the bridge wasn't busy, but he didn't want to be alone right now, so he sat down in his command chair again. An Ensign from engineering immediately entered the bridge and gave him a report on the status of the environmental systems from B'Elanna. At least it would take his mind off Kathryn, and the mystery of what was going on. 

After two hours of absolute boredom, reading report after report had never been fun, but it had been much better sat next to Kathryn. He sighed, for what must have been the millionth time that day. Getting up he walked to the science station, where Ensign Wildman was busily working. She didn't look up as he looked over her shoulder at the computer readings.

Suddenly there was a flash of light causing Chakotay to turn round, only to come face to face with Q. 

"Why Chuckles, its nice to see you again" he said.

"Skip to the point, Q, I'm sure you're not here to talk to me", Chakotay said, coldly.

"Well, no. Where's Kathy?" he asked innocently.

"As if you don't know, Q" Chakotay said, impatiently. Q only meant one thing and that was trouble. He noticed Tuvok had rounded his station, and was now standing behind Q. As pointless as that was, because Q could disappear in a flash of light, without warning.

"Now, there's no need to be nasty. I just brought my favourite Captain a present", he said grinning from ear to ear.

"A present?" Chakotay questioned.

"See", Q said, clicking his fingers, as another blinding flash of light appeared.

-Fin-


	11. Chapter 11 An Old Friend

Authors Note – I don't own the ship, the characters, or anything at all.

Chapter 11 – An Old Friend 

A girl appeared from the flash of light, she didn't look very happy to be on voyager. The whole bridge crew were gawping at her, apart from Tuvok of course, who merely stared. She looked around, anger eminent on her face, before turning back to Q.

"You promised me you'd take me home, not to the voyager", she said, keeping an even tone.

Q still grinning replied, "This is your home."

"Hmmmm…. Of course, how could I forget, I've never set foot on this damn ship in my life", she said, letting out a long sigh.

"It's where your family are, which means you belong here", Q said smugly.

"Like hell it does. Take me home now", she said, angrily. "Tom's the only family I have here, and you know it."

"I know more than you do. Excuse me", he said, disappearing in another flash of light.

"What the hell?", she whispered.

Chakotay stood stock still for a moment, replaying what had just happened over in his mind. Every member of the bridge crew was silent, staring. Chakotay couldn't believe what was happening, she was dead, but yet here in front of him thanks to Q was Cadet Elizabeth Paris. 

"Err…what is your name?" he asked, wanting to make sure it was definitely her. She stared at him, as though wondering whether to answer or not.

"Elizabeth Paris, I presume you're Commander Chakotay", she said, hastily. At that moment Tom stepped out of the turbolift, looking at the floor. He walked past tactical station before, looking up. Taking in the scene before him, he went deathly white. He grabbed hold of the edge of the tactical station, tears sliding down his cheeks, as he stood perfectly still, staring at Elizabeth. He thought, this cant be, I'm hallucinating I must be.

"Tom", she said. Going to stand next to him and taking his hand in hers. "Its real", she whispered. He just stared at her, unmoving. 

"See", she smiled, squeezing his hand. "I'm alive."

He snapped out of it, pulling her into his arms, "How?" he muttered.

She returned the hug eagerly, "It's a long story. I've missed you." Tom didn't speak he just held her tightly, as though reassuring himself she was really there.

Q reappeared sitting on the tactical console, much to Tuvoks disgust. "Well, Voyagers not so bad is it?"

Elizabeth drew away from Tom immediately and was on the defensive. Curbing her instinctive answer of 'Not as good as the Enterprise.' She bit her lip, and glared at him. 

"Why Q?"

"I told you, your family is here, so you belong here." Jumping off the tactical console, he stood in front of her.

"Tom. What about everyone back on earth, Dad, Deanna, Reg and all my friends. Q you can't do this, you promised", she said, ending on a desperate plea.

Tom went to stand beside her worried she might disappear. He had his little sister back, his best friend. Q just stood watching the two of them, the grin on Toms face. He smiled, "Fly boy here is glad to have you here. Kathy will be ecstatic, when she finds out. After all you are her gift", he said in a happy tone.

"Her gift. I am no-ones gift Q. How dare you presume to rule my life. Why the hell, didn't you let me die, anyway?" her face contorted with anger.

"She did me a favour, I did her one", he said, grinning at her confused expression.

"Q, I don't understand. You mean Captain Janeway, I presume?" she said, her anger replaced by confusion. A confusion, which was shared by every member of the bridge crew, except Tom.

"Of course, I mean Captain Janeway", he said exasperated. With that he disappeared again. Elizabeth turned to Tom, who pulled her into another hug. "Its okay now", he whispered.

"No, its not. What about Dad, Deanna, they both care for me far more than Captain Janeway, and yet Q saves my life for her. I don't get it, I just don't get it."

Tom sighed, and was about to speak before Q cut him off, this time he didn't reappear, but his voice was there, "No, they don't. She will always love you more than anyone else ever could."

"What? I haven't seen Captain Janeway in eight years, and even then she only came over a couple of times. Yet your saying she loves me more than they do. I don't believe you." she said, regret obvious in her voice. Angry tears welling in her eyes, thinking of all the people she loved at home. All the people she knew loved her, and her death would have upset them very much, which she found unbearable.

"Don't believe me then, you'll see."

"I doubt it." She sighed, letting a few tears slip down her cheeks.

Chakotay stood still for a few moments, watching Tom and Elizabeth, holding each other so tightly, both afraid to let go in case they got split up again. He smiled; maybe everything would be all right, now. Still smiling, he walked over to them, "Tom take the rest of the day off."

"Thanks", he smiled.

"Stop by sickbay, as soon as possible. I'll inform the doctor, of the erm.. developments", he said. He wanted to go to sickbay himself, tell Kathryn, see her, and get their friendship back on track. However, he thought it was best to let Elizabeth go first, although he noticed she seemed as clueless as he was, as to why the captain would be so devastated by her death.

                        *                                *                                  *                                        *

Tom kept his arm around Elizabeth as they walked to the turbolift, still afraid he was dreaming and she would disappear in a puff of smoke. Once inside, away from the gawping gazes of the bridge crew, barring Tuvok who had remained perfectly calm as usual. Tom let out a sigh of relief. He looked down to see his sister gazing up at him she was smiling. 

"Tired?" she asked, gently.

"Yeah, I haven't slept in say the last two weeks", he said. Grinning he added, "I'll sleep tonight." 

She smiled, a little concerned, "You better." 

"Why are we going to sickbay?" she questioned, anxious to find out what was going on.

"We're not, well not for a little while anyway. I want to take you on a tour of the ship first", he smiled it was nice to be around her again. She had this atmosphere around her, just like someone else he knew. Only with her the atmosphere was of pure happiness. 

"Are you going to show me my quarters?" she asked. 

Tom paled a little at the thought of her being alone, "Well, I thought you could move into my quarters for a while. Q might play up or something."

She grinned, knowing he was just scared to let her out of his sight. She didn't really want to be alone right now anyway, so she agreed. 

"So, where are you taking me?" She was very excited at the chance of exploring the great voyager; this ship was one of the most famous in the fleet. Every class was taught about it at one time. The voyager was the talk of the federation, the crew were famous every cadet's dream was to be like a member of the voyager crew. She herself had always wanted to be like Captain Janeway, even before voyager had gotten lost in the delta quadrant. She was looking forward to seeing her again, it had been long time. One thing worried her, what had Q meant, she was a present for the captain, it just didn't make sense. Dismissing the thought, she turned her mind back to the voyager crews fame back home. The crew of this ship had accomplished so much. Their journey had changed Tom, that was obvious enough, but he was still the brother she once knew. It was weird; it had been a long time since she had done anything with him.

"The mess hall", he grinned, adding "I hope your ready to push your taste buds to the limit."

Grinning back, she said "Mr Neelix."

"You know a lot about us" he said interested.

"You're talked about a lot, everyone gets to know stuff about you. However, because of dad, I got involved with pathfinder." She smiled, not wanting to elaborate. 

The turbolift stopped and they got out. Walking towards the mess hall they got some strange looks. Elizabeth admired the ship as she went along, its smooth, sleek design. She wondered if this tour would entail stopping by engineering, what she wouldn't give for a good look at the heart of this ship.

The mess hall doors slid open, Tom and Elizabeth stepped through. Mr Neelix immediately came up, well more bounded up, looking very excited. 

"You must be Elizabeth", he said offering her his hand. She gladly shook it. So he was just as enthusiastic as he was portrayed to be. 

"Yes, nice to meet you Mr Neelix", she smiled.

He looked very pleased that she knew who he was. Beaming, he asked, "What can I get you two?"

Elizabeth smiled, "A coffee, please."

"Pizza" Tom said. 

"Coming right up."

The two of them made there way to a quiet corner of the mess hall. Liz smiled, as she slid into her place, she whispered, "So you're still a pizza fanatic."

"Of course, you mean you aren't", he laughed.

"Just try and stop me, I'm a self confessed addict", Elizabeth said, laughing too.

Neelix came with the food then, however, he didn't stay to chat long as the mess hall was starting to fill up. The more people that filed in, the more uncomfortable Elizabeth felt. Their eyes were burning holes in her back.

"Aren't you going to have some", Tom cut into her train of thought, indicating at the pizza.

"Oh, sure", she said quietly.

"Where did you go after the accident?" Tom asked after a while.

"Oh, I was injured so Q took me to a medical facility, and then he showed me different planets in the Alpha quadrant. That's the short version; he promised that he'd take me home after we visited the planets he wanted to show me. It was weird; he said he wanted to get to know me. God only knows why. I sure as hell don't know. Anyway then he brought me here, and here I am." She finished with a grin.   
Tom had listened to her tale intently, he was sure they had a lot of catching up to do. However, it looked as though they would have long enough. Now there were more pressing matters to be taken care of, such as the captain.

"Tom", Elizabeth's voice cut through his thoughts.

"Huh? Sorry."

"It's okay. I was just wondering where the captain was. When can I go and see her." She asked perfectly innocently.

Tom was silent for a minute thinking what to say, then he said, "We'll go and see her soon."

"Ok, can we head out now? People are beginning to really stare", she said uncomfortably.

"Right, lets go. First stop engineering, there's someone I want you to meet."

"B'Elanna?"

"Yeah, we've been going through a rough patch recently", he said regretfully.

"Oh, I'm sorry", she said guiltily. Oh, god, had Tom fallen out with B'Elanna because of her, or her apparent death to be more precise.

"It's not your fault. She'll be ok. She really wanted to meet you, you know, now she'll have the chance. I told her a lot about you."

"Only good, I hope", she said teasingly.

"Of course." With that the two exited the mess hall and made their way to engineering.

-Fin-

Please, please, please review. That's if you want to know what transpires between Elizabeth and the Captain, and generally what the hell is going on, how they fit, etc.

It'll be good, I promise.


	12. Chapter 12 Strange Looks

Authors Note – I don't own the ship, the characters, or anything at all.

Chapter 12 – Strange Looks 

B'Elanna was working at a console in the upper section of engineering when Tom and Elizabeth appeared. Elizabeth's arrival had been passed down the gossip chain quickly, and with much excitement. B'Elanna had been shocked at first, but had gotten quite excited about it now. 

B'Elanna looked up with a smile, as Tom walked up, Elizabeth was lagging behind peering at consoles over people's shoulders. Her mothers daughter, thought Tom. 

"Hey", B'Elanna said.

Tom grinned, "Hey. I guess you've heard." 

"Who hasn't? Its good news", she said, smiling. "So do I get to meet her?"

"Oh, yeah, sorry. Elizabeth come here" he called over his shoulder.

B'Elanna gasped, as Elizabeth rounded the warp core, the resemblance was uncanny. "Tom.." she said uncertainly.

"I know, but she doesn't, ok", he whispered quickly.

Elizabeth skipped down the steps, coming face to face with them. "Hi. Its nice to meet you at last", she said, grinning at B'Elanna.

B'Elanna managed a "Nice to meet you too", but she was still in shock. How could she not know, how could she not notice. 

Tom noticed B'Elanna was still staring at Elizabeth, he cleared his throat, and she got the hint.   
"Um, Tom said you're very interested in Engineering" she said, walking over to her.

"Yeah, especially voyagers engineering systems", Elizabeth said, her eyes shining with enthusiasm.

"Right, well shall I show you around?" she asked, wondering if Elizabeth could help correct the ion imbalance in the warp core, which she had been struggling with all morning.

"Please."

Tom's commbadge beeped, "Doctor to Mr Paris."

"Paris here", he said, watching B'Elanna lead Elizabeth off towards the lift to the lower section. Well, he thought, she doesn't appear to be holding a grudge, in fact she's being very understanding about the whole thing.

"The captains awake. I think it would be best if you paid her a visit and explain what's happened."

"Right, well, I'll come alone. Elizabeth's looking around engineering, and its probably best if I talk to her before bringing Liz along", he said, thinking how she might react if she saw Liz walk into sickbay looking as well as ever.

He cut the link, and headed back down to the lower level, after his sister and girlfriend. Once on the lower level he spotted them at a console on the left, "I've got to go to sickbay, I'll be back soon, okay."

Elizabeth smiled, "Sure." She noticed B'Elanna looking at her intently again. Pushing it aside, as just curiosity, after all she had been dead in their eyes for over two weeks.

After half an hour, B'Elanna had her working on the ion discrepancy; it was difficult, as she had said. Then, Elizabeth spotted it, correcting the problem, she smiled, privately proud of her achievement. 

"Done", she called to B'Elanna.

"What?" B'Elanna said, as she came over to the console by the core. She had spent all morning working on this; Elizabeth had solved it in 10 minutes. Maybe, she would be allowed to take her on as a trainee, provided Q didn't take her back home.

"Well Done."

"Thanks", Elizabeth smiled.

"Do you think I could go catch up with Tom in sickbay?" she asked.

"Um…. No, I … um could you take a look at this for me?" she said quickly improvising. Tom obviously hadn't finished with the captain yet. It probably wasn't a good idea to let her go down there yet.

"Sure", Elizabeth said, getting the impression B'Elanna wanted to keep her here for some reason.

After another two hours, working on different problems B'Elanna kept supplying her with. She decided she really needed to go get something to eat. B'Elanna was busy, so she asked Lieutenant Carey, who said it was fine.

She worked her way back to the turbolift, ignoring the strange looks she was getting off members of the crew. Once inside the turbolift, she commanded "Sickbay." As soon as the turbolift started moving she began to wonder whether this was such a good idea. 

When she stepped out of the turbolift on deck five there was a young girl stood there. 

"Hi. I'm Naomi Wildman" she smiled.

"Elizabeth Paris", Elizabeth said quietly.

"Tom asked me to come and see if you wanted to go to the holodeck. I have a beach program", she said, in an attempt to persuade Elizabeth.

"Uh….sure", she smiled, taking the girls outstretched hand, and turning around, heading back into the turbolift.

After spending two hours on the holodeck, discussing every aspect of living in the Alpha Quadrant, Naomi's mom came to pick her up. Seeing the way Naomi flung herself into her mom's arms upset Elizabeth. She sighed, feeling more homesick than ever. She missed her dad and Deanna far more than she wanted to acknowledge. One tear she thought and I'll never stop.

Just then Q appeared, sat on the beach next to her, "What do you want?" she asked, irritated by his sudden appearance.

"I've come to stop you wallowing. Look around you there's people on this ship that love you more than you can imagine", he said grinning smugly.

"Oh yeah, you said, like captain Janeway, who obviously doesn't give a damn because she hasn't shown her face since I arrived. Take me home Q, now", she said anger and hurt, choking her up.

"No", he declared.

"Well, you could at least explain." Angry tears slipping down her cheeks, which she wiped away fiercely.

"Kathy will tell you, after all she should take some of the responsibility. I did save your life. Now its her turn", he said, in his annoying, arrogant way.

"I hate you Q, she wont tell me, she doesn't give a toss about me. You know that. I hate her for this, I hate her", she screamed, standing up and running down the beach from him.

"No, you don't" he said appearing in front of her.

Elizabeth sighed, "Leave me alone or take me home, you choose", she said, tired of the endless debate.

"You are home" he replied, and with that he was gone.

Elizabeth flopped down on the sand with a sigh. She was rapidly giving up on Q taking her home, and thus an easy solution to the problem. She should be grateful, after all he did save her life, but she couldn't help feeling like he'd actually handed her a death sentence – A lifetime in the Delta quadrant. She could see Tom again for which she was grateful, but she missed the rest of her family. The thought of home had kept her sane for the last two weeks, now she might never see it again.

Elizabeth just wished Q would be straight with her; tell her why he'd saved her life for Captain Janeway, why she loved her when she didn't appear to. Why is life so confusing, she thought? Although, Elizabeth had to admit she'd always hoped she'd get to meet Captain Janeway again, the woman and her exploits filled her with awe, and there wasn't a time Elizabeth could remember that she didn't want to grow up to be just like her.

Suddenly the holodeck doors opened, making her jump. It was the ex-borg, Elizabeth had heard a lot about from Reg. 

Fear filled her as she sat up on her elbows and stared. The borg were dangerous she knew that, but this was an ex-borg. The woman walked towards her, cocking her eyebrow, she inquired "Elizabeth Paris." Elizabeth hoped she couldn't sense her apprehension, and in an even voice, she said, "Yes."

"Your holodeck time has expired", she stated. Elizabeth noticed that she seemed curious about her; she was gazed intently at her.

"Oh, I'm sorry", Elizabeth excused herself, making her way past the ex-borg and out of the door. Once outside the holodeck she let out a sigh of relief, she may be an ex-borg, but she was far too curious and borg like for Elizabeth. Leaning against the cool wall of the corridor, Elizabeth decided it was time to find Captain Janeway and discuss what Q had said with her.

"Computer locate Captain Janeway."

"Captain Janeway is in sickbay."

Well, that could explain why she hadn't seen her yet, if she was ill. Sighing she decided to go and check it out, perhaps Tom would still be there. Elizabeth walked down the corridor to the turbolift.

"Deck five", she stated quietly.

The turbolift stopped and Elizabeth got out and headed for sickbay. Smiling politely at the few crewmembers she passed.

She stood outside the door for a few minutes, deliberating, before striding in.

-Fin-

Please review. Its nearly over, a couple more chapters, want to know whether Elizabeth gets home or not, what the deal is between Janeway and Elizabeth, and the explanation behind it, etc. Then please review.


	13. Chapter 13 Fate

Authors Note - I don't own the ship, the characters, or anything at all.

Chapter 13 – Fate 

Elizabeth entered sickbay, to see the doctor and Tom clustered around a biobed in the far corner of the room. They obviously hadn't heard her come in. She decided to go over and see what was going on. As soon as she started walking towards them, they both turned around, revealing an extremely pale and ill looking Captain Janeway sat on the biobed. No-one spoke, they just stared at one another. Elizabeth was the first one to speak, straightening her back and looking official Starfleet material, she smiled in the Captains direction, "Captain, its an honour to meet you, again." 

When the Captain didn't reply Elizabeth took a few tentative steps towards her, before seeing she was crying and in what Elizabeth diagnosed to be shock. Elizabeth went to stand by her side, pretty sure by now that something seriously weird was going on. Without warning the Captain grabbed Elizabeth and held her tightly against her, tears shimmering on her pale face. Elizabeth let out a gasp, not quite sure what she should do; she slipped her arms around the captain and held her back. She remembered being a child again, she had loved it then when the captain had given her a goodnight hug, now she couldn't think of anywhere else she wouldn't rather be. She had never thought she would see the venerable captain Janeway this upset.

Especially not this upset about her. In her experience captains never cried, or at least not in public.

Elizabeth sighed as a few tears escaped, why was this happening to her, what she wouldn't give right now to be home, and this to be her Dad or Deanna hugging her, but fate or rather Q had other things in store for her. She was brought back to the present by the captain rubbing her back gently. So she knows I'm crying too Elizabeth thought, great just great.

"Shhhhh. It's okay, I'm sorry", the captain whispered gently into her hair. Elizabeth would have felt comforted by her words had she not held her tighter. Oh, why had she come to sickbay, she asked herself. She didn't think she had ever felt more trapped in her life, not even on that shuttle where she nearly died. This was a nightmare, how could she get out of here.

She came down here for information on what Q meant, not to be reminded of everything she left behind, or to have a session of motherly hugs. Sighing, Elizabeth realised that despite her angry feelings about her situation, she felt comforted and safe by the captain's actions. 

"Captain are you okay", she asked, loosening her own hold on the captain. This seemed to affect the captain, as she immediately released her and pulled back. Although, she kept hold of Elizabeth's arm with one hand, whilst wiping her tears away with the other. Elizabeth looked at the floor, unsure what to do. 

The captain ran her hand under Elizabeth's chin, bringing her face up to meet her own. She smiled, "It's good to see you again", she said. 

Elizabeth gulped, "I missed you", she said quietly. It wasn't a complete lie, she had missed her at first when she vanished, but then she moved on with her life. Looking around her she noticed that both the doctor and Tom had disappeared into his office. Strange she thought why had Tom disappeared.

The captain interrupted her thoughts, "I'm sorry I wasn't here when you arrived. I was ill, but the doctor has given me a clean bill of health", she said guiltily. Well thought Elizabeth that was the worst lie anyone had ever told her, she could see by just looking at her that the captain was ill, or at least exhausted. She remembered how stubborn Captain Janeway was though; she wouldn't be kept in sickbay unless it was completely necessary.

Smiling, Elizabeth said, "It's okay. I had enough people gawping at me when I arrived on the bridge this morning."

The captain laughed at this, "I can picture their faces", she grinned.

The captain shifted off the biobed, she was very weak, although she tried to hide it "Why don't we go and catch up in my quarters" she said.

"Sure, I should go and tell Tom though" she said, heading in the direction of the doctors office. She got to the door when the main sickbay doors opened and admitted Chakotay. He smiled at her, before going over to the captain. This might be a good time to escape she thought, but then realised that she didn't really want to escape anymore. 

She walked into the office to find Tom sat opposite the doctor, who was sat behind his desk.

"Liz" he grinned.

"Is it okay if I go to the captains quarters for a bit, now?" she asked.

"Sure, I'll stop by for you later, ok." 

Elizabeth nodded before turning to head out the door, when Chakotay stormed through. 

"Doctor, you can't be discharging her. You saw her earlier", he said. Elizabeth looked from him to the doctor.

"The captain is recovering, she is eating and although she is still very weak she appears to be returning to normal", the doctor said flatly, indicating with his eyes at Elizabeth. Elizabeth felt uncomfortable, why was the doctor indicating at her, what was it he was warning the commander not to say. Deciding to ask Tom later about it, she put it out of her mind.

Elizabeth felt a hand on her shoulder and resisted the urge to jump. It was the captain and she didn't look too happy.

"Doctor, Elizabeth and I are leaving now", she said in an even tone. Elizabeth thought, that she wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of this woman. 

The captain added, "I would like to see the ship status reports as soon as possible commander", and glared at chakotay.

"Aye Captain", he said. 

With that the captain turned and left with Elizabeth following behind. They walked in comfortable silence to the captain's quarters; Elizabeth noted that the captain looked paler now. The captain seemed to know Elizabeth was worried about her, because she took her hand and squeezed it. Elizabeth smiled at her.

They arrived at the captain's quarters hand in hand, the captain punched in her code, and they entered. 

"Would you like a drink?" 

"No, thank you" Elizabeth said looking around her. The captain's quarters were the largest on the ship that was nothing new. The room was homely looking, coffee cups were scattered on the table, an afghan rug was thrown over the arm of a chair, and there was pottery and plants scattered here and there. The captain had gone to the replicator. Elizabeth walked over to the window, and looked out at the stars as she had so many times before.

"Your father tells me your doing well at the academy", the captain said, standing next to her, coffee in hand.

Elizabeth saw the flicker of pride in the captain's eyes, and she laughed. The captain thought she was being modest, but Elizabeth was laughing at how many times she had dreamed of making the captain proud of her, and now here she was.

The captain sat on the couch under the window, she indicated for Elizabeth to do the same. 

"How have you been?" The captain wanted to know everything about her, and the last few years of her life that she hadn't witnessed. Elizabeth could see this and so began at the beginning, with when voyager got lost. She quickly moved on to how she got to know Deanna and the time she spent on the enterprise. The mention of the woman Elizabeth had grown to love as a mother choked the captain up as well as Elizabeth, who had to stop. The captain moved closer to her and took her into her arms again, holding her tight and stroking strands of hair from her face. It hurt Elizabeth even more to feel captain Janeways face buried in her hair, she shouldn't have started talking about home, she wasn't the only one it affected. Elizabeth mistakenly believed that the only reason the captain was upset was because of the mention of home. She didn't notice the change in attitude had been when she mentioned Deanna. However, she had been so upset herself, she missed her family so much. 

They sat holding each other in silence for a while, both comforted by the other. Then the door chime rang, the captain called for whomever it was to enter. Tom came in; he smiled at what he saw.

"Do you want me to come back?" he asked, thinking the captain might want to spend more time with Elizabeth.

"No. I'm hungry and tired, it's been a long day", Elizabeth cut in. She stood up, and smiled at the captain, who looked sad to see her go. Elizabeth ignored it. She needed a break, her emotions were threatening to erupt and she didn't want the captain to see it. 

"Thanks for having me", she said politely, before turning and heading for the door.

The captain stared after her.

"I'll see you tomorrow" she called after her. Elizabeth nodded.

"I'll catch you up. B'Elannas in the mess hall", he said to Elizabeth. She nodded and headed off down the hall.

Tom looked at the captain, who stood up and smiled.

"She hasn't changed Tom", she said quietly.

"No, she hasn't." 

"I presume you didn't tell her", he added, quietly.

"I couldn't. Tom, I want to spend time with her first. If I walk back into her life, now, and try to…" she trailed off, love so obvious in her voice, but mixed with a sad pain.

"I know", he said.

The captain smiled, "She needs time to adjust, then I'll tell her. I'm not about to let her go again. I couldn't, she means everything to me", she said quietly, tears threatening to break her resolve.

Tom nodded, "If you need me, Captain."

She smiled, "Thank you Tom." She touched his arm affectionately and he smiled.

He turned and left, as she flopped back onto the couch. The last few hours had taken their toll, and she was completely exhausted. 

Elizabeth arrived in the mess hall, to find B'Elanna sat talking to and ensign with dark hair. She was about to walk over when Neelix arrived by her side. He beamed at her.

"How's the Captain, I heard you were with her this evening", he said, curiously.

"Yeah, I've just come from her quarters. She's fine", she said quietly, and somewhat unconvincingly.

Neelix continued, "When can we expect to see her up and about then?"

"I don't know, that's up to her", she said. This man really was quite annoying, not to mention nosy. Glancing in B'Elannas direction she saw her wave her over. Glad to have an excuse, she muttered her apologies to Neelix and went over to B'Elannas table.

"So, how did it go?" she asked. Adding, "This is Harry by the way" she indicated at Harry.

"Nice to meet you", he said extending his hand, which Elizabeth shook. 

"You too", Elizabeth smiled. 

"It went fine, why shouldn't it have?" she said answering B'Elannas question.

B'Elanna looked at her, so the captain hadn't told her then. Why not, she would ask Tom later. 

She smiled at Elizabeth, "Oh, no reason."

Just then Tom came up and sat down. He looked at Elizabeth and saw how tired she was.

"Come on", he said, putting his arm around her.

She smiled sadly, "Are we going to your quarters?"

"Yeah, they're your quarters now too", he said, hoping to make her feel more at home.

She nodded, and let Tom lead her out the mess hall with a friendly goodbye to B'Elanna. She was good for Tom, Elizabeth thought. They suited each other; well she hadn't seen them together all that much, but even so.

Later that night, Elizabeth awoke from a reoccurring nightmare, feeling tired, upset and generally fed-up. She got up quietly so as not to awaken Tom, who had fussed over her like a baby from the moment she had left half her food at dinner. He really was a good brother she thought, smiling to herself. 

Sighing she padded to the bathroom to wash her sweat soaked face. Looking at herself in the mirror, she sighed the last two weeks had taken their toll. Now, all she wanted to do was go home, and move on with her life. Or at least part of her wanted that, the other part of her wanted to stay here with the voyager crew, Tom, and Captain Janeway. 

Sighing she grabbed her uniform and got dressed. She thought she might take a tour of the ship, after all hundreds of people back home would love to be in her position right now. 

She decided to go to the mess hall for a coffee first, it would help her calm down. The she might head down to sickbay and see if the EMH could do anything about her nightmares. 

-Fin-

Please review. Where coming to the end, I promise. I'd love to here your theories on Elizabeth/Janeway. I've given you clues, you may have been able to work it out, you may not, but you'll find out in a couple more chapters and another visit from Q. Tell me how you want it to end, that's always interesting.


	14. Chapter 14 The Past

Authors Note: I don't own the ship, the crew or anything at all. However, I do own the story, and Elizabeth.

Chapter 14 – The Past 

Elizabeth was sat in the holodeck watching one of Tom's holomovies, and contemplating her life so far. Elizabeth sighed, how many times had she sat in the back row of one of Tom's movie creations. Somehow though tonight was different, she wasn't at home. No, she was stuck in the delta quadrant.

She reminisced about her childhood, how proud she had been then. How proud to be a member of the historic Paris family. She laughed, not any more, not for many years. She thought back to the day it all changed, when she was ten, she had been routing around through photos for a baby picture to take to school. When she hadn't found any she had asked her dad where they were. Then her world had crashed around her, everything she prided, everything she believed and knew to be true, fell about her. She was no Paris, she was adopted. Elizabeth was crying now, the movie long forgotten as background noise to her memories. 

According to her father, her biological mother was dead. Her mother died in a shuttle accident when she was two, and he had taken her in then, as was her mothers wish. He told her that her mother loved her very much, but to him she would always be his daughter. That statement had comforted her many times in the last five years.

Sighing, she asked herself the question she had asked her father, "What happened to my biological father?", her father had always evaded that question. Was he still alive, did he know about her, did he care, so many questions, so many unanswered questions. She believed in her heart that her father knew something about her biological father; he didn't want her to know. She remembered looking him in the eye and asking him, and she thought she saw pity mingled with fear. Maybe it was best she not know, but without knowing she could not make that presumption. She was curious by nature, but she left it, deciding that Admiral Paris was her father and always would be, just as he had said.

The Admiral had said he had no pictures of either of her parents. She had dropped the subject entirely after several months, seeing that it upset him. Privately however she carried on, she knew at one time both her parents had been in Starfleet. She searched through many databases, different records but never found anything.

Smiling she thought, how naive I was. She often looked back on that period of her life now, and thought, what did it matter, she had everything she wanted, everything she needed, they were dead they couldn't do anything for her.

She jumped, as the doors suddenly opened revealing the Captain. Elizabeth stood up to show respect. The captain merely smiled, "At ease, such formality is reserved for on duty."

Elizabeth nodded, Janeway had changed she was not as strict as she had used to be. Or maybe she was, she had only ever seen her off duty before. Now she was going to be her captain.

Janeway sat down next to her and patted her hand, "Couldn't sleep?" she asked.

"No. I thought the doctor told you to get some bed rest" she said concerned.

The captain looked like she hadn't really slept, she was paler than earlier if that was possible. 

"He did, but it's not as though I'm working", she looked at Elizabeth.

"Is it good?"

Elizabeth stared at her, and then caught on to her meaning, "Oh, I haven't really been watching it."

"Then what have you been doing?" she questioned.

Elizabeth noted the anxiety in her voice, "Reminiscing", she replied quietly.

The captain nodded, "I see."

"Captain", she said quietly.

"Hmm." The captain was studying Elizabeth intently.

"Is there something wrong?"

"Oh, no. I'm sorry", she smiled, squeezing Elizabeth's hand.

"Why don't we go for a coffee", she said standing up, holding her arm out for Elizabeth to follow.

Elizabeth stood up and followed the captain down the row of seats. Elizabeth tried to stifle a yawn, but the captain heard and turned around in the doorway.

"Come on", she whispered, gently slipping her arm around Elizabeth.

The captain led Elizabeth to her quarters. Elizabeth sat on the sofa, whilst the captain went to get some drinks. She turned around to find Elizabeth lying on the sofa asleep. Smiling, she pulled a rug over Elizabeth's sleeping form. She watched her sleep for a while before falling asleep herself.

Elizabeth awoke to find the captain sat on the floor next to the sofa, with her head on Elizabeth's hand, and her own hand resting next to Elizabeth's cheek. Elizabeth stayed still, unsure what to do, she couldn't move without waking the captain up, and right now she knew the captain needed to rest. She decided she had no choice but to stay put, managing to drift back into a peaceful sleep. The captain's presence seemed to ward of her nightmares, having her near made Elizabeth feel safe.

Elizabeth awoke again, this time she found that the captain was awake and sat on the edge of the sofa watching her. There was more colour in the captains face now, but she was still very pale.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, as though it was Elizabeth who had been ill.

"Me. I'm fine. What about you?" she asked, smiling.

"Hungry. What do you want for breakfast, or should I say lunch?" she laughed.

"I'm okay. I told B'Elanna I would help out in engineering, this afternoon. I should get going", Elizabeth said, not really wanting to go.

"I see. Well, eat something, won't you?"

Elizabeth nodded and smiled, getting up from the sofa she sighed, "I better go and change. See you later and thank you."

The captain smiled, "It was a pleasure to have you." She got up from the sofa and led Elizabeth to the door. 

-Fin-

Please review. I know you think I'm dragging it out, but I'm not. Tell me what your theories behind this whole thing are, based on the new information, what do you think to all the connections in this story.


	15. Chapter 15 Love

Authors Note: I don't own the ships, the characters, or anything at all.

Chapter 15 – Love 

Elizabeth arrived in engineering, only a few minutes late. She apologised and followed B'Elanna into the Jeffries tube at the rear of engineering, near the warp core. God, she had forgotten just how much she hated these small, cramped tubes.

B'Elanna stopped after passing several junctions.

"We have to realign these power couplings" she grinned at Elizabeth. She hoped she could get to know her, while they worked.

"Right", Elizabeth replied, with a smile.

After half an hour talking about the academy and B'Elanna explaining why she quit, B'Elanna's curiosity got the better of her.

"So, Tom said you were adopted. Do you know anything about your real parents?" she asked, trying to be delicate, but her klingon nature failed her again.

Elizabeth stiffened and felt the tears well in her eyes. Taking a deep breath she steeled herself for the endless questions. 

"My mother died, when I was two. I don't know what happened to my father", she said quietly.

"Oh, how did she die?" B'Elanna pushed a little further, curious.

"In a shuttle crash, the same way Toms mother died, two years later", Elizabeth said, quietly.

"He loves you a lot doesn't he?" B'Elanna said, attempting to lighten the mood.

"Yes, he does", Elizabeth still seemed upset about everything.

B'Elanna decided to tell her about her own childhood, "My father walked out on my mom and I when I was 10. I haven't seen him since. My mother and I don't get on and so in a way our situations are similar."

Elizabeth appreciated B'Elanna's effort to lighten the mood. 

"I guess. At least you got to know your parents though. I wish I could remember them, I don't even have a photo", she whispered a stray tear making its way down her cheek. B'Elanna shook her head, and put her arm round Elizabeth.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have….", she began.

"No, its okay. I needed to talk about it, it's tearing me up inside. So many questions unanswered. What I wouldn't give for five minutes with my parents", she said a little shakily.

B'Elanna smiled, "Maybe you'll get your wish."

Elizabeth laughed, "You believe in ghosts and spirits and things?"

B'Elanna just laughed, and returned to the power couplings. 

Elizabeth sat and watched for a minute, and then began to help her. Her mind wasn't really on task she was working on autopilot. Her emotions were running high, she remembered the times she would lay in bed and think that her mother was in the next room and she could go and see her, touch her, hug her anytime. Then she had to face the reality and spent the night crying herself to sleep. People often said she looked like her mother, which she liked, but they never said anymore not even when she asked. No one ever mentioned her father; she wondered about him often, what was he like, what had he done that was so terrible. The one question that was always paramount was, were her parents married? Did they love each other, did they really love her or want her, or was she just an inconvenience. Such confusion tinged with regret and eminent sadness.

"Elizabeth", B'Elannas voice cut through her thoughts.

"Oh, um sorry. I was thinking."

B'Elanna nodded sympathetically, "I should get back to engineering, can you handle the last bit?"

"Yeah, sure", Elizabeth smiled.

B'Elanna shifted past her and crawled down the Jeffries tube.

Elizabeth walked down the corridor towards the mess hall. Tom had been adamant that she join B'Elanna and him for dinner. She had been less enthusiastic, still feeling tired; all Elizabeth wanted to do was go to bed. B'Elanna had had her working on problems all over the ship this afternoon, and she was about ready to collapse from exhaustion.

She entered the mess hall, with a fake smile plastered on her pale face. Spotting Tom and B'Elanna at a table in the corner with the captain, she walked over. Smiling she slid into the place they had left for her.

"Nice of you to join us", B'Elanna said teasingly.

Elizabeth smiled; her gaze directed more out the window behind B'Elanna than at her. 

"I was just passing through and Tom invited me to join you", the captain answered Elizabeth's silent question.

"Oh, well its nice to have you", Elizabeth said politely. Looking around she noticed that people were watching the four of them. She reasoned that it must be the first time they'd have seen the captain in a week or two.

"So, what are we all going to have?" Tom asked.

"You know, I'm not that hungry. I'm just going to go back to our quarters", Elizabeth said, tiredness evident in her voice.

Tom opened his mouth to tell her he wouldn't be long, but the captain cut across him, "Have you eaten anything today?" she asked, concerned.

Elizabeth thought about lying, but she decided against it, she respected the captain too much for that. Getting up she looked at the captain, "No. I'll get something later."

Captain Janeway wasn't going to let it go that easily. She stood up too, and the two of them came eye to eye over the table.

"I'll walk you back to your quarters", she said, noting the confused look on Elizabeth's face.

"Uh….okay", Elizabeth said taken aback.

As the two of them left, Tom and B'Elanna shared a confused look. It wasn't like the captain to stand down from a fight.

As they walked through the corridors, Elizabeth glanced sideways at the captain, "I thought you were going to make me stay."

The captain smiled, "No. Your tired, we both are. We can relax and have something to eat", she was worried, there was no mistaking the tone of her voice.

"I'm fine. I promise", Elizabeth said reassuringly.

"You wont be if you don't eat", the captain said.

"Okay, I give in", Elizabeth said, tired of the discussion.

They arrived at the Paris quarters; Elizabeth keyed in the door code, and entered the captain behind her. 

The captain appeared to be watching her, again. Elizabeth sighed and flopped onto the sofa under the window, the captain sat down next to her. 

The captain then got up and went to the replicator, "Coffee black, and chicken soup."

Elizabeth sighed,  "Captain, you don't have too. Your probably tired yourself, after what you've been through the past week."

The captain stopped in her tracks and looked at her thoughtfully, before carrying on to the sofa, and handing Elizabeth the soup. 

"Don't be silly. I want to help you settle in on voyager", the captain smiled, putting her arm round her, in a gesture of friendship.

Elizabeth sipped the soup thoughtfully, "Captain."

"Hmmm."

"Thank you for being here for me, it means a lot", Elizabeth said quietly.

The captain squeezed her tightly, "Shhhh, Its what I'm here for."

"No, its not. It's not fair on you; I shouldn't need you to look after me. I'm 15 I should be able to take care of myself," Elizabeth sobbed.

"Shhh", the captain whispered into her hair, as she rubbed Elizabeth's back in an attempt to soothe her. 

"It's okay, I want to be here."

"Q saved my life for you Captain. Why?" she asked, still sobbing.

"Because he knew how much I cared about you. I promise you everything will be okay, if Q won't take you home, you can stay here. Tom would be delighted to have you, and I'd be just a happy", she said, trying to reassure Elizabeth.

Elizabeth sobbed choking, "He said you love me more than I could ever imagine. I don't understand."

The captain held her tightly to her chest, "Shhhh. He's right I do love you, I loved the time we spent together, I only wish we could have spent more time together", she said rocking her tired body back and forth. She knew how confused Elizabeth must be, but right now, wasn't the time to tell her. She had had enough emotional upheaval in the last few days and weeks. Elizabeth needed her, and she wasn't going to let her down, not again.  

After several minutes, Elizabeth stopped sobbing. The captain looked down at the girl in her arms and smiled Elizabeth was asleep. She let the few tears she had been holding in drop, landing in Elizabeth's hair. She clung to her tightly, protectively; no one would ever take her away ever again. Placing a kiss in Elizabeth's hair, she closed her eyes and fell asleep.

-Fin-

Please review. Your thoughts and comments are welcome. I would love to hear your theories. If you haven't read the message I put on the review page, I want you guys to know this story doesn't have anything to do with Mosaic, not even remotely.


	16. Chapter 16 Rapist

Authors Note: I don't own the characters, the ship, the crew, or anything at all.

Chapter 16 - Rapist 

After the Captain and Elizabeth left, Tom and B'Elanna carried on with their dinner. B'Elanna's curiosity soon got the better of her and she broke the comfortable silence they had been sat in.

Looking up at Tom who appeared to be deep in thought, she said "Tom, why will no-one tell Elizabeth who her father is?"

He looked up shocked, "She told you", he whispered.

"Yes, she did, and she's pretty cut up about it too", B'Elanna whispered back.

"She doesn't need to know, it was a long time ago, and it would only upset her," he said, hoping that that would be the end of the conversation, but knowing B'Elanna he expected her to carry on, and she did.

"What did he do? She has a right to know, he is her dad", she argued.

Tom looked away, and got up going to the replicator he ordered a synthehol. Returning to the table he sat down and faced B'Elanna, hoping she would not ask any more questions.

"So, what did he do?" B'Elanna asked, as soon as he had sat down.

Tom sighed, "He was a rapist, a stalker, and a general asshole. He didn't deserve to gain someone like Elizabeth from his dealings." Tom kept his tone even and his eyes on the glass in front of him.

B'Elanna gasped, "He raped her mother, oh, Tom."

"She lost everything because of him, even her little girl. You can't tell anyone any of this, okay?" Tom said in a quiet, but regretful tone of voice.

"Of course I wont. Did he kill her mother? How's the captain related to her?" she asked, desperate for the full story.

Tom looked at her before shaking his head, "Suffice it to say, he suffocated her mother, but he didn't kill her." Deciding to ignore the last question, he sat perfectly still.

"Oh" B'Elanna said. Well it was certainly clear now, why Elizabeth wasn't told about her father, why people ignored her questions, they were just trying to protect her.

"Is he still alive? Are you ever going to tell Elizabeth?" she questioned.

"B'Elanna", he whispered angrily. Tom stood and stormed out of the mess hall. B'Elanna sat open-mouthed starring after him. God, that must have been a touchy subject, usually it was her storming out, not Tom. She decided to give Tom some space; looking around her she saw that many of the crewmembers in the mess hall were watching her. Not just any old crewmembers were watching her though, Commander Chakotay was watching. Chakotay got up and headed over to her table, sliding into the seat Tom had just vacated. 

"What was all that about?" he asked.

Avoiding his gaze, she look out the window behind him, and replied "Oh nothing."

"I haven't seen Tom storm out like that before, especially not when the four of you were laughing and joking only ten minutes ago", he said, concerned.

"It's nothing. You should have come and joined us, the captain did", B'Elanna tried to change the subject.

"I've only just come in, but Neelix told me about it. He was pleased to see the captain up and about again; he said she seemed genuinely happy. B'Elanna don't change the subject. If something's upsetting you two, I'd like to help", he said quietly, unobtrusively.

"Its nothing big, we'll sort it, I promise", she lied.

"The captains coming back to work tomorrow, that must be a weight off your shoulders", B'Elanna said hastily carrying on, lest she be interrupted.

Chakotays face instantly darkened, "The doctor said she wouldn't be back for at least four days. It's only been two", he said. He cared about her and he wasn't going to let her put her health in jeopardy, not this time. She was his friend, even though they had barley spoken to one another recently. He didn't blame her, he knew she had a lot on her plate, he just wished she'd tell him why, why she's responsible for Tom's god damn sister. Although he had noted that Elizabeth bared a remarkable resemblance to the captain, and had begun to wonder if they were related in any way.

"She seems a lot better, thanks to Elizabeth", B'Elanna said, quietly.

Chakoaty nodded, B'Elanna appeared to be as much in the dark as the rest of them. Getting up he left, heading for the bridge.

B'Elanna left not long after for her quarters.

The captain woke up, slightly disorientated at first. It wasn't long before the events of the previous night came flooding back to her. She looked around the room wondering were Tom was, his bed didn't look as though it had been slept in. Then she saw the padd lying on the table in front of her, it was addressed to Elizabeth but she didn't think she would mind her reading it. It said that Tom had gone to sleep at Harry's as he deemed it inappropriate to sleep in the same room as his captain. The captain was somewhat amused by this, but approved of his decision.

Elizabeth's eyes flickered open, and she sat up and moved off the captain's lap and out of her arms, to the other end of the sofa. The captain smiled, "Good morning. How are you feeling this morning?" her voice held a hint of concern.

"Me, I'm fine. Look, I'm sorry about last night, I shouldn't have got all upset on you", she said apologetically. 

The captain smiled and patted Elizabeth's hand, "It's okay. I told you last night that I enjoy spending time with you. I want to help you, you know where I am if you need me, okay", she said.

"I know, Thanks", Elizabeth said wrapping her arms around the captain. What would it take to make her understand she was alright, she just needed space, that's all. The captain held her back, seemingly unwilling to break the bond. Elizabeth broke the hug, and stood up heading to the replicator, "Coffee, right?" she called over her shoulder.

"Yes, thank you" the captain replied.

Elizabeth sighed, looking at the chronometer she was expected to go and see Lieutenant Commander Tuvok and Commander Chakotay in half an hour. Apparently they intended on carrying on her academy training, and lessons. She wondered how hard it would be; she knew Tuvok had been an instructor at the academy for a long time before voyager. 

"Here you go", Elizabeth said handing the captain a cup of steaming coffee.

The captain took it from her, and looked up at her, "What are you going to have?"

"Nothing, I don't have time. I have to see Commander Chakotay and Lieutenant Commander Tuvok, about continuing my academy training", she said.

"I see, why wasn't I told about this?" the captain said, annoyed no one had told her. Elizabeth decided to ignore the question, unsure what the right answer was. 

"Well, we'll go for dinner together then, okay?" the captain asked, still worried about Elizabeth's eating habits, or lack of them. Elizabeth sighed, "Okay."

The captain smiled, stood up and left. Elizabeth shook her head as the doors closed, the captain hardly ever ate, why should she. Never mind, maybe it would help them both.

Elizabeth headed to the bathroom to get changed, before heading for the bridge, and the briefing room.

Elizabeth strode onto the bridge, after quickly glancing at each crewmember she passed through to the briefing room. She entered the room to find the Captain, Commander, and Lieutenant Commander already seated. Elizabeth felt rather uncomfortable under the gaze of the three most senior officers on the ship. 

The Captain was the first to speak, "Have a seat", she said indicating at the seat next to Tuvok. Elizabeth groaned inwardly - Vulcan's always made her feel uncomfortable and self-aware. As she sat down the captain smiled reassuringly, obviously seeing that she was somewhat nervous. 

The meeting was over pretty quickly, she was given a timetable and informed she would be studying from were she left off at the academy – half way through the first year. It was also confirmed that amongst here tutors, Lieutenant Commander Tuvok would be the most prominent. 

Elizabeth sighed as she left the briefing room, almost walking straight into Tom.

"Hi, how did it go?" he asked, grinning.

"Just great" Elizabeth replied unenthusiastically. 

Tom laughed, "I have to go. See you in the shuttle bay, for your first flying lesson."

Elizabeth groaned, "Yeah, I guess you will."

After her last time flying a shuttle she wasn't overly keen to get back behind the controls, but it was better to face it sooner rather than later.

-Fin-

Please review. The next chapter reveals the Liz/Janeway relationship, however before I post it I would love to know your theories on how I reveal it, what it is, etc. So please review. 

P.S. If you think I'm dragging it out and don't get the subtle hints in every chapter, and the reason I wrote them, then why the hell are you still reading this story.


	17. Chapter 17 Death's the end of all

Authors Note: I don't own the ship, the characters, or anything at all.

Chapter 17 – Death's the end of all 

Elizabeth had spent most of the day wandering aimlessly around the ship. She now knew every nook and cranny, not to mention every Jeffries tube in this ship. Now, she was stood outside the shuttle bay, preparing for her first flying lesson since the accident. She had steeled herself for this moment, but now her resolve was quickly dissipating.

"Liz, you coming?" Tom asked, appearing through the doors.

"Oh, uh sure", she said, not moving.

"Nervous? It'll be okay," Tom tried to reassure her. 

Elizabeth nodded, and followed Tom through the doors. On entering the shuttle bay, Elizabeth spotted the delta flyer immediately; it certainly was as impressive as Tom said. She walked over to it, circling it once, before following Tom inside.

"Welcome to the delta flyer", he grinned.

Elizabeth smiled, surveying the interior of the ship – it certainly was far better than the shuttles in the Alpha quadrant.

"The pilots seat", Tom, indicated to the seat at the front of the flyer. 

"I'll take us out, and find a place for us to start the lesson", he said.

Elizabeth nodded, sitting down behind the tactical station. Tom nodded approvingly, before sitting down himself and initiated take off procedures. Once they had been given the all clear, they were off. 

Tom flew for about half an hour, the two of them chatting easily the entire time. He was about to hand over control to Elizabeth, when the ship shook violently from a phaser blast. 

"Sensors haven't detected a ship, it must be cloaked", Elizabeth stated, nervously.

"Okay, let's send a warning shot", Tom replied, keeping his voice even, so as not to scare Elizabeth.

"Wait, they're de-cloaking off port", Elizabeth cried.

The flyer was rocked again, more violently this time; the other ship was using photon torpedoes. Elizabeth was thrown from her seat, but quickly scrambled back up. 

"Fire Liz, we can't take another hit like that", Tom, shouted.

Smoke was filling the cabin. Deja-vouz, Elizabeth thought. Putting the thought from her mind she attempted to concentrate on the problem.

"Tom, phasers are off line", Elizabeth shouted back.

"Okay, can you see anywhere we could set down?" Tom asked, hopefully.

"There's an asteroid field about 5 minutes up ahead. Will we be able to hold them off that long?" Elizabeth asked.

"We can try", he replied. He knew Elizabeth believed him to be one of the best pilots ever, but he didn't have as much faith in himself when it came to crunch time.

Another torpedo hit, and Elizabeth was thrown from her seat onto the console in front of her, which exploded throwing her to the floor severely injured.  Tom didn't look around, but he knew what had happened. A tear fell down his cheek, but his anger fuelled him to survive.

After dodging a few more hits, he managed to set down in a crater on a large asteroid. Sighing as the flyer landed, he turned in his seat surveying the damage. Elizabeth's lifeless body lay on the floor next to the tactical console, her body had severe burns. Oh god he thought, getting up and heading for her. Don't be dead; don't be dead, he whispered to himself. He had promised the captain he would take good care of her – she had been concerned for Elizabeth after her last experience in a shuttle, and she had almost come with them. However, Tom had managed to persuade her it was unnecessary for her to come, reassuring her he was perfectly capable of taking care of his little sister. The captain had left it at that, trusting Tom's skill as a pilot.

Now, Tom thought, what had he done? Hovering over Elizabeth he bent down and took hold of her wrist. Please let there be a pulse, he thought. Don't let her die now she has so much to live for.

-Fin-

Please review. I'm sorry this chapter is so short, but I wanted to give you guys a cliffhanger, so I split it in two. I promise you'll find out the Liz/Janeway connection in the next half of this chapter. Tell me what you think of the story so far, do you think I'm going to kill Elizabeth off, etc.


	18. Chapter 18 The Truth

Authors Note: I don't own the ships, the characters, or anything at all.

Chapter 18 – The Truth 

Tom searched frantically for a pulse, finding one albeit a weak one he let out a sigh of relief. He got up and ran into the back of the flyer, returning with a tricorder, with which he began to scan Elizabeth. Her injuries were severe, he couldn't treat them, she had brain damage and she was barely breathing. Elizabeth needed the doctor's expertise. 

Tom threw the tricorder to one side, and sent out an automated distress call. Then, he went back to sit beside Elizabeth, holding her cold hand in his warm one. There was nothing he could do but wait and pray assistance would come soon. He sat with one eye on the ops console and the other on his unconscious sister. There would be no way he could get the flyer off this asteroid without backup from voyager, as the ship that attacked them was still hovering above too large to land.

"I'm picking up and automated distress call, it's the flyer", Harry Kim announced. The captain stood up and turned to face him, before turning to the helm, "Set a course for the flyer", the captain's voice was a little shakier than usual, but not noticeably. 

The captain paced the bridge, fear coursing through her veins. Would they get to them in time? Where they dead, injured, or captured? The next five minutes felt like the longest, she had ever been through.

"Approaching their position", the ensign at the helm announced.

Janeway turned to face Ensign Kim, "Status?"

"Two life signs, ones very weak", Harry stated, looking a little pale. He kept his face turned down to his console, afraid of meeting his captain's horrified gaze. 

After several seconds the captain managed to speak, "Beam them to sickbay. Commander you have the bridge, I'll be in sickbay", she almost whispered it. Chakotay stood up wondering if he should go with her, she was acting completely out of character. Deciding against it he simply nodded at her and watched her enter the turbo lift.

The captain entered sickbay to a hive of activity; Elizabeth lay motionless on a biobed, the doctor and Tom were conferring as the doctor worked on her. Neither of them noticed the captain enter. She made her way over to them quietly, invisibly. 

"Ah Captain", the doctor stated simply, trying not to look her in the eye.

"How is she?" she asked concern etched on her pale face.

The doctor and Tom exchanged a look. 

"Her injuries are severe, I'm afraid. She has extensive internal injuries, and…" he gulped, then added "brain damage." 

Hurriedly carrying on, he said, "The console exploded giving off an electrical impulse, which disrupted all electrical impulses in her brain. Its similar to what happened to you when facing the Borg, two years ago.." he gulped, again "only worse."

The captain took this in, tears forming in her eyes, and spilling onto her cheeks. She swayed slightly, reaching for the edge of the biobed as a support. Tom put his hand on her arm, an act of genuine sympathy. He couldn't imagine what she was going through right now.

The doctor decided to carry on, "She is in a coma, I will attempt to repair her injuries, however if I fail she will not wake up and will most probably die."

The captain took this in, looking from Tom to the doctor and then back again. 

"Do what you have to", her voice was quite, but calm. She had survived, so would Elizabeth. She was young and strong. 

The doctor indicated to his office and Tom followed him, leaving the captain alone with Elizabeth. She moved to her side, taking Elizabeth's hand in her own.

Leaning in close to Elizabeth, the captain rested her cheek on Elizabeth's, she whispered, "Don't die on me. You've got so much to live for, I've got so much to tell you." On the last note her voice cracked, and her tears began to spill onto Elizabeth's face.

"I love you so much," she lifted her head, gently kissing Elizabeth's forehead, hugging her against herself, careful not to injure her further.

"Captain, I have to start now", the doctor said appearing next to her.

The captain nodded, placing one last kiss on Elizabeth's head, she withdrew. Tom took her by the arm and led her into the doctor's office.

"Captain, I'm sorry. I…." He began, but she shook her head. 

"It wasn't your fault. I shouldn't have let her go. I let her down, again", her voice faltered on the last note, she blamed herself for everything. She stood at the window watching the doctor work on Elizabeth. 

"Captain, its not your fault." Tom let out a long sigh, placing his head in his hands. 

"I'm supposed to protect her Tom, as her captain and her…." She trailed off, as though she couldn't bring herself to say it.

"Captain, you have protected her, been there for her when she needed you, loved her like only a mother could", Tom said.

"I don't deserve to be her mother, do I? Tom I abandoned her, what is she going to think when I tell her that? If I can tell her that, if I'm given the chance", she choked on the last words, tears streaming down her cheeks. Tom stood up and put his hands on her shoulders, heaving with sobs. He felt pity for her, the great Captain Janeway. Only right now, she wasn't the great captain Janeway, right now she was a mother grieving for the child she had been deprived of knowing as a daughter for the last 13 years. 

"She'll love you for it. She will be so proud to know you're her mother. She's awed by you captain. All her life she's wanted to be like you, never knowing just how like you she is", he smiled then.

"If she wakes up, I'll tell her as soon as she's well enough to cope with it" the captain said. She wouldn't waste another chance to tell her.

"She'll wake up, she's strong. She has her mothers fighting spirit", he replied reassuringly.

The captain turned to face him, "Tom, what should I tell her about her father?"

"Nothing, unless she asks. She'll have enough to take in without that", he said, anger clouding his features. The man was dead and yet still he stood between the captain and Elizabeth. 

The captain nodded. They sat in silence for the next two hours; both comforted by the others presence. 

Chakotay walked into sickbay unnoticed by both Tom and the captain. The doctor nodded in the direction of his office and Chakotay entered. 

"Chakotay", Tom said quietly. Toms voice caught the captain's attention; she looked up and straight at Chakotay. 

"I came to see what was going on", he explained, briefly.

"I see", the captain stated quietly.

Chakotay looked to Tom and then back at the captain, "Are you okay?" 

Anger flared in her eyes, it was unmistakable, but she didn't say anything she just continued staring at her hands. Tom shook his head, and looked away also.

Chakotay stepped towards the captain, "Kathryn, I'm just trying to help", he pleaded.

"This ship cant do without its captain and commander, Chakotay", she whispered. 

He understood and left, heading back to the bridge. He'd never seen the captain look that frightened before, not even when facing the Borg. The pain in her eyes had torn at his heart. He shook his head; obviously Elizabeth was an integral part of her life, somehow. 

After four hours of working on Elizabeth, the doctor had managed to repair her injuries, and although she would be fragile for sometime, he was confident she would make a full recovery. When he told the captain and Tom, they had both broken down, and the captain had thanked him profusely for saving her daughter. Both of which shocked him; firstly he had never heard her thank him so sincerely before, and secondly her secret was out, she had told him Elizabeth was her daughter. Although he now knew, he was extremely curious about the captains past, as she had not elaborated beyond the fact that Elizabeth didn't know.

He looked out of his office window, the captain was asleep, her head on Elizabeth's arm. Tom had left after talking to Elizabeth for several minutes, although he knew she probably couldn't here him he was comforted by it. Tom had left to give the captain time alone with Elizabeth, and had asked the doctor to give the captain some space. After all she had enough to deal with right now, without an inquisitive doctor.

-Fin-

Please review. So what do you think? It's not over yet by the way. Tell me what you think; what's going to happen with her father, do you think he's dead, does she wake up, how's she going to react, etc.?


	19. Chapter 19 The Strength Of Love

Authors Note: I don't own the characters, the ship, or anything at all.

Chapter 19 – The Strength of Love

Tom walked into sickbay the morning after the accident to find the captain already awake and keeping silent vigil over Elizabeth. He smiled taking a step in their direction before changing route and entering the doctor's office. 

"Doc, how is she?" he asked anxious for news.

"No change I'm afraid. She appears to be as stubborn as her mother," the doctor said smiling.

Tom nodded, "I'll see if the captain wants a break."

The doctor shook his head and said, "Shewont leave I've already tried. She needs to rest, she barely had an hours sleep last night after you left."

Tom grinned and headed out the office, so the captain was still being herself. He didn't know whether that was a good thing or a bad thing. He walked over to them, the captain was sat as close as humanly possible to Elizabeth on her biobed. She was holding her hand and stroking her hair. Tom cleared his throat to make his presence aware. 

"Tom", the captain smiled.

"How is she doing?" he asked.

The captains faced grew sad, "She's still in a coma", she stated bluntly.

Tom nodded, "Captain, why don't you go and get some rest. I'll sit with Elizabeth, she'll be okay."

The captain looked at him sharply, "I'm not leaving her, Tom."

"Captain if there's any change, I'll contact you, I promise", he said persuasively.

"Tom", her voice was even, but her face was hard. No one would make her leave Elizabeth.

The captain was about to say something else when Neelix's voice came over the conn system.

"Neelix to the captain."

Janeway sighed, "Go ahead, Neelix."

"Could I see you for a moment please?" he asked.

"Neelix, I'm busy right now. Can you take the matter up with commander Chakotay?" she asked, hopefully.

"Well, its something I need to speak to you about", Neelix said insistently.

Tom looked at the captain, who looked from him to Elizabeth.

"Alright, Mr Neelix. Meet me in sickbay."

The doctor was stood at the door to his office, as the captain broke the link he said, "Captain, I've never seen you so insistent to stay in sickbay before."

The captain glared at him, but she knew they were right she should go and get some rest, after all she was exhausted and she had one hell of a headache, but she was scared to leave Elizabeth in case something happened.

Tom sighed, "I have to go to the bridge, if there's any change call me."

The captain nodded and smiled gratefully at him. Tom turned and left just as Neelix entered sickbay.

"Ah captain", he said, walking over.

"What can I do for you Mr Neelix?" she asked politely.

"Well, I was wondering if there's any truth to the rumour that is going around the ship?" he asked.

"What rumour?" the captain said, irritably, rubbing at her temples hoping to rid herself of the headache which was getting worse.

"Well as ships moral officer I thought it my duty to find out the truth and inform people", Neelix said. He appeared to be very excited about this rumour, and couldn't keep his impish grin of his furry face.

"What rumour, Mr Neelix?" the captain asked again, considerably more irritated than before.

"Is Elizabeth your daughter?" he asked plainly.

The captain was silent for a minute; she didn't want the whole ship to know before Elizabeth. Yet she wasn't going to lie to the crew.

"Yes, she is. I would prefer if you keep this information to yourself until I have told Elizabeth" she said quietly.

"Yes ma'am."

Neelix turned to leave, but the captain called to him, "May I ask who gave you this information?"

Neelix blushed, and looked towards the doctor who stood in the doorway of his office. 

"I see. Thank you Mr Neelix", the captain replied.

Neelix nodded and left hurriedly. The captain turned to the doctor, and gave him one of her death glares. He looked increasingly uncomfortable, taking a tentative step towards the captain he began, "Captain, I'm sorry. I had to tell someone, I didn't think you would mind", he said trying to sound convincing.

"What you mean doctor is you didn't think I would find out. Well I have." The captain walked up to him until their faces were inches apart and hissed, "Normally you would be in the brig for this, but you saved her life so you're exempt. If you so much as breathe a word to Elizabeth, I will have you thrown out of the nearest airlock. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes ma'am", the doctor replied, a little alarmed.

The captain went back to Elizabeth's side, and the doctor made a hasty retreat into his office.

Two days later, Elizabeth's condition had not changed, and the captain had refused point blank to leave sickbay, prompting concern from many of the senior staff. She was exhausted; although she tried to hide it the façade was beginning to crumble. The emotional and physical demands of the last week were taken their toll, and the doctor was concerned for her health as was Chakotay.

"Kathryn", Chakotay said pleadingly.

"Chakotay, I can't leave her. I wont let her down, not this time," the captain sighed.

"Your not letting her down, you need your rest to, your only human", Chakotay implored. 

She looked at him, was she being overly unreasonable and over protective. He was right she was exhausted the last few days had taken its toll on her. 

"She wouldn't want you to make yourself ill for her, would she?" he asked.

The captain was silent for a minute, looking down at her daughter. If she was completely honest she was terrified of leaving her, scared she may never see her again. After debating the issue with herself, she gave in.

"Alright, but if there's any change you promise you'll call me", she said, clinging tightly to Elizabeth's hand, seemingly unwilling to let go.

"Any change" Chakotay said reassuringly. He gently removed the captain's hand from Elizabeth's and squeezed it reassuringly.

The captain nodded and with one last look at Elizabeth she turned and left. Chakotay pulled up a stool and sat down next to Elizabeth. He talked to her a bit, before Neelix came in and insisted on sitting with her. Chakotay sat and watched Neelix ramble on, finding it somewhat amusing. 

Suddenly he saw her hand twitch, then she opened her eyes, closing them again eliciting a groan.

"Doctor", Chakotay shouted. 

The doctor hurried out of his office and over to the biobed, grabbing a tricorder off a nearby tray. He began to scan her, and she opened her eyes again.

"Doctor", she whispered, tears forming in her eyes as she remembered what happened.

"Tom", she said, before groaning in pain.

The doctor injected her with a hypospray.

"There that should ease the pain," he said.

Elizabeth opened her eyes again everything was so blurred, the analgesic had soothed her headache considerably, not to mention her other aches and pains. Her main concern was for Tom was he okay?

"Where's Tom?" she whispered, a tear flowing freely down her cheek.

Chakotay gave her hand a squeeze, "Shhh, Toms fine. He'll be here in a minute", he said soothingly. Elizabeth felt alone, and scared, she continued to sob. Chakotay carried on saying soothing words to her and holding her hand, but it had little effect on Elizabeth. 

Tom ran through the door, beaming. The doctor withdrew, with Neelix and Chakotay, who suddenly realised he needed to call the captain. They went to his office, while Tom sat with Elizabeth, hugging her, reassuring her that everything was okay. 

It wasn't long before the captain arrived; she stopped just inside the door and watched Elizabeth with Tom, tears shone in her eyes. She walked over calmly, not wanting to startle Elizabeth.

"Welcome back", she said gently.

Elizabeth looked up still crying, and Tom moved back to let the captain in. Janeway gently hugged Elizabeth, covering Elizabeth's body with her own protectively, and smothering her with tentative kisses. Elizabeth put one arm around the captain, whilst reaching out for Tom with the other. She was understandably scared and in need of comfort. 

Tom grinned at her, "I'm okay, I promise."

Elizabeth nodded, "Don't go, will you?"

Tom looked at the captain knowing how she must be feeling, but he also knew that as Elizabeth didn't know, he should stay with her.

"I'm not going anywhere", he whispered.

The captain was a little disappointed but she hid it well. Drawing back to look down at Elizabeth, she smiled reassuringly.

"How are you feeling?"

"Tired, achy but I'm okay" Elizabeth replied croakily.

The captain smiled again, noticing that Elizabeth was trying to be brave. 

"That's good to hear. I missed you so much", she said tears welling in her eyes.

Elizabeth saw the tears in the captain's eyes, and couldn't stop her own tears from falling. The captain was about to embrace her, when she flung her arms around Tom. The captain stood up and turned away, letting her own tears fall but rapidly wiping them away with her hand. She felt so miserable, Elizabeth was awake but she couldn't comfort her as her mother. Elizabeth didn't even want her she wanted Tom. 

"Icheb to Paris", Toms conn badge squeaked.

"Paris here", he sighed, suddenly remembering he had a lesson arranged with Icheb.

"Are you too busy to attend my flying lesson?" he asked.

Elizabeth looked up at him but didn't release her hold on him. Elizabeth shook her head at him, Tom looked helplessly at the captain, who had turned round and was awaiting his reply.

"Lieutenant", came the voice on the other end of the connlink.

The captain nodded at Tom, "I'll stay with her."

He nodded, doubting that she would have left whether he was there or not. Elizabeth tightened her grip on him.

"I'll be down in a minute Icheb", he replied and closed the link.

"No, you can't go. What if something happens?" she said despairingly, close to tears again.

"Nothings going to happen", he said calmly.

He removed her arms from around his waist. 

"I'll be back", he said grinning and ruffling her hair before leaving.

Elizabeth glared at the captain, angry that she had told him to go. She laid back down and turned on her side away from the captain, who stared at her sadly.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart", she whispered, sitting down next to Elizabeth on the biobed.

"You know its fate, I'm going to die the same way my mother died", Elizabeth stated matter of factly.

The captain gently stroked her hair and Elizabeth turned to look at her. The captain pulled her into her arms, and whispered in her ear, "Don't say that. Look at me." She put a hand under Elizabeth's chin, bringing it up so that she was looking at her, "If its fate that you will die in a shuttle crash, why have you come out alive both times?" she asked, quietly.

"I don't know", Elizabeth said thoughtfully.

The captain smiled and hugged her tightly. Neither of them said anymore, the captain rested her head on Elizabeth's, who was leant against her, their arms around one another. Elizabeth appeared to draw comfort from the captain; she made her feel safe and loved.

The doctor came over after several minutes, clearing his throat, "My patient needs her rest", he said. When he got no reply he looked at the two of them, only to find that they were both asleep. He sighed and went back to his office.

-Fin-

Please review. Only a couple more chapters till the end of the story. I would love to hear how you think I'm going to end it, does the captain ever tell Elizabeth or does someone else, etc.


	20. Chapter 20 Newfound Knowledge

Authors Note: I don't own the ship, the characters, or anything at all.

Chapter 20 – Newfound Knowledge 

"Doctor!" Elizabeth exclaimed. She had been in sickbay for the last two days, and was getting seriously fed-up with the situation. Now, she had a chance to persuade the doctor to let her go, she was going to do her best to make it happen. After all she had managed to persuade the captain to go and get some rest this morning, even though everyone had told her she wouldn't be able to. All she had had to do was express concern of her exhausted state of mind, and worry that she might end up making herself ill, and the captain consented to going to her quarters. Elizabeth had forgotten about the conditions the captain had given her, and was now following the doctor around sickbay protesting that she was well enough to leave.

"I will let you go tomorrow morning, as agreed", the doctor said exasperated.

"Cant I go now, what difference is one day going to make?" Elizabeth pursued.

"You will leave tomorrow, and will be confined to quarters for a further two days and I will be stopping by to check on your progress. Then you will be allowed to wander the ship again," the doctor said for what seemed to him to be the hundredth time today.

"But…"Elizabeth opened her mouth to protest.

"No more buts, your moth," he stopped realising what he had just said, and quickly carried on hoping Elizabeth hadn't noticed. 

"Captain told me not to let you out of my sight, and that is what I intend to do." The doctor blushed, considerably nervous that she might have picked up on his mistake.

Elizabeth pouted, "Doctor what were you going to say?"

"I've said all I have to say", the doctor said hastily.

"No, not now, before you said captain", Elizabeth said, sparks of curiosity shining in her eyes.

"Nothing, nothing at all", the doctor said, making for his office, but Elizabeth stepped in front of him blocking him off.

"It sounded like mother", she whispered, as though she were afraid to say it.

"Elizabeth, I …" he began, but she cut him off sharply.

"So its true then", she said quietly.

"Yes, its true. I shouldn't have said anything, the captain was going to tell you as soon as you were better", he said guiltily.

"I knew something weird was going on", she said, evenly.

"You did, how?" the doctor looked taken aback.

"Well, I haven't seen the captain in years and then she goes all maternal on me", she said, a sad smile gracing her face.

"True", the doctor agreed.

"Can I leave sickbay now?" she asked again, hoping he would let her go, she needed some time on her own.

The doctor stood there staring at her, he sighed "Alright, but I want you to get some rest in your quarters, I'll stop by later to check up on you."

Elizabeth nodded and went behind the privacy screen to get changed, the doctor shook his head and decided to go and tell Tom what he had let slip. Elizabeth emerged from behind the screen to an empty sickbay, and smiled, she had been told the doctor was a gossip; she wondered whom he had gone off to tell. 

Shaking her head, she headed out of the door and to her quarters. The corridors were quiet and luckily she didn't run into anyone on her way. Sighing she entered her quarters only to be greeted by the sight of herself in the mirror, hell, did she look pale and tired. 

Heading for the bathroom, she ran a bath. Relaxing in the hot, bubbly water, she began to think about what she had just been told. After all these years of wanting, needing a mother she had had one all along. She laughed, she had dreamt of what her mother was like, but never in her wildest dreams had she ever imagined this. Suddenly the consequences of her newfound knowledge hit her like a knife through the heart. What was going to happen now? Why had she given her away? Didn't she want her? Didn't she love her?

Breaking down, she began to wonder if maybe it had been better believing her mother was dead, at least that way she knew she hadn't given her up willingly and that she truly loved her.

-Fin-

Please review, if you don't I'll just take it that you don't want anymore. What happens? Why was she given away? Etc. These questions will be answered in the next few chapters, but I would love to hear your own theories.


	21. Chapter 21 Cave In

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, the ship or anything at all.

Chapter 21 – Cave In 

Elizabeth had spent the last few hours lounging around the quarters she shared with Tom. She had been debating the inevitable confrontation she was going to have with the captain. Although, she had almost accepted the idea, she couldn't bring herself to think of her as her mom. She sighed, and flung herself down on her bed, her face in the pillow. She decided to steer clear of the captain for a few days, if that was possible. 

The door chime rang; Elizabeth groaned knowing who it was going to be. She decided to ignore it; she didn't have the energy for a fight right now. She knew that when the confrontation came she would need every ounce of strength she could muster. Apparently the person at the door wasn't of the same opinion, the insistent ringing carried on until Elizabeth flung a small ornament at the door. It smashed against it, with a loud crash. Elizabeth sighed with relief, thinking she had got rid of the annoying intruder. Unfortunately it appeared she wasn't that lucky. The doors swished open to reveal the captain. Elizabeth knew who it was, she didn't move but kept very still hoping the captain wouldn't notice her lying on her bed. 

"Sweetheart", came the captain's voice, softer than her usual tone. 

Elizabeth sighed, and turned around to face her. She didn't say anything but took in the captains appearance; she looked tired, her eyes had the glazed look of someone who hadn't slept in a while, and she was very pale, but still smiling. She stared at Elizabeth for a few minutes, as though waiting for a response, a response that would never come. 

The captain came to sit beside her, but as soon as she sat down Elizabeth shuffled to the other end of the bed. The captain stared after her slightly bemused, and confused by Elizabeth's actions. 

"What's wrong?" she asked, extending her hand towards her. 

Elizabeth didn't take it, but she looked up and glared at the captain, "I think you know what's wrong," she whispered. 

The captain looked confused for a minute, then realisation seemed to pass across her features. 

"Elizabeth," she said quietly. The captains eyes softened as tears began to fill them. 

"Just tell me why", Elizabeth said, not meaning for it to sound as cold as it did.

"Because I love you", she paused, "I wanted you to be safe, I still do. Only now circumstances have changed", she said gently.

"Safe?" Elizabeth questioned.

"Your father…" she faltered, a sob tearing from her.

Elizabeth turned around, and went to the captain putting her arms around her; she rocked her back and forth like a child, reassuring her that it was okay, and she still loved her no matter what. Deep down Elizabeth was desperate to know about her past, to have her questions answered, but she knew that the captain needed her right now. She didn't quite understand how seeing the captain like this could have changed her mood from angry to sympathetic in a second. She began to wonder if her incessant ramblings of comfort where what she really felt. The truth was she didn't really know how she felt, and she wouldn't be able to assess her feelings until she knew everything. 

After a couple of minutes she felt the captain take a deep breath and pull away. Elizabeth opened her eyes to look at her, finally realising the truth in the doctors words. Maybe she should have stayed in sickbay, this whole thing was tiring her out, and she was beginning to feel light headed again. 

"Sweetheart, lets go and sit down," the captain said, obviously aware of Elizabeth's exhaustion.

Elizabeth nodded, and followed her to the sofa. She didn't feel like arguing anymore, when the captain slipped her arms around her she found no resistance. Elizabeth sighed, letting a tear slip down her cheek – after all these years she was finally able to physically touch the woman she knew as her mother. It was the captains turn now to comfort her daughter. She held her tightly, whilst rubbing her back in small circles. 

"I love you," she whispered, in Elizabeth's ear.

"I know," Elizabeth said quietly. She couldn't yet bring herself to call her mom - it was too soon. Nor could she tell her she loved her, because she wasn't sure quite how she felt.

Elizabeth pulled back slightly so she could look up at the captain, "Why did you give me away?" she asked. 

The captain sighed, and pressed her chin against Elizabeth's forehead. Elizabeth struggled to breathe the captain was holding her so tightly, but she managed to find a relatively comfortable position. 

"Honey, when I was 30 I had just been promoted to Lieutenant Commander. I was on the USS Carolina; we were scheduled to dock at Terakus Prime for supplies. Well, when we got to the surface we were all allowed several hours off duty on the planet." She paused to look at Elizabeth, who appeared to be following what she was saying intently, before continuing "I went for a walk, and….", she faltered, tears coming to her eyes again. Elizabeth looked up at her, gently squeezing her in a tight hug. 

"And…" she prompted.

The captain squeezed Elizabeth tighter in her arms, "I was attacked, knocked unconscious and raped," her voice fell on the last word. Elizabeth gasped, as the realisation of what the captain had just said dawned on her. She pulled away; standing up Elizabeth walked to the window and leaned her head against it. The tears that had been threatening now spilled easily down her cheeks. 

-Fin-

Please Review. I want to hear your comments. I know this is a weird place to leave it, but you'll see why in the next chapter. There aren't many chapters left, I promise. J


	22. Chapter 22 Defeated

Disclaimer: I don't own the ship, the characters, or anything at all.

Chapter 22 – Defeated

The doors swished open, revealing a slightly dishevelled Tom Paris. He didn't notice the captain sat in the chair, with her back to him, but he saw Elizabeth stood at the viewport. 

"Liz, how are you feeling? The doc told me you managed to persuade him that you were better off resting in our quarters," he said, wandering over to her.

He wrapped an arm around her realising that she was crying, "Elizabeth," he whispered. 

"What is it?" he asked, gently. 

"Why don't you ask her," she said, tossing her head in the direction of the captain, who remained quiet.

"Captain, I…" Tom began, surprised to turn around and find his captain sat silently in a chair. For one thing she was never silent, everyone was always made aware of her presence when she was in a room, but not to day apparently. 

The captain waved her hand in his direction cutting him off, "Tom, I need to talk to Elizabeth alone," she said quietly.

"I think you've said enough," Elizabeth said, her voice like acid.

The captain sighed, she wasn't going to force Elizabeth to talk to her; she knew how angry and hurt she must be feeling right now. She also knew that Elizabeth would come round, and then she would be there for her, to tell her the rest of the story and to be her mom.

"Liz," Tom said, shocked that Elizabeth could talk to the captain like that. No one spoke to Kathryn Janeway like that, and what shocked him more was that she stood for it. 

"You know where I am," she said to Elizabeth, attempting to touch her shoulder, but Elizabeth moved away.

The captain nodded at Tom and left. The room was silent once she had gone; Tom took Elizabeth by the arm and sat her on the sofa. 

"She loves you so much, you know that. She loved you from the moment she knew you existed, and she's never stopped. She needs you, and you need her," Tom said, matter of factly.

"Loved me so much she couldn't wait to get rid of me!" Elizabeth murmured.

"She didn't want to, it broke her heart. She had to. Elizabeth your dad was a bad guy; a rapist, and a stalker," he said, letting the news sink in. Elizabeth gasped, putting her knees up against her chin and wrapping her arms around them she began to rock herself like a little child, burying her face in her knees and sobbing her heart out. Tom sighed; going to her he pulled her into a big hug. 

"I'm so scared, what if I'm like him, Tom?" she said, in a voice that was barely audible.

"I know, but you're not anything like him. You're your mothers daughter and you have a lot of dad in you too, we might not be your biological family, but it doesn't mean we love you any less or that you are any less like us," he whispered.

She nodded, "I know. Tom, what did he do that meant she had to give me away?" she asked, innocently.

"I think she would want to tell you that," he said. Tom didn't want to tell Elizabeth everything; he knew she needed to hear it from the captain and the captain needed to be the one to tell her.

"I'll go and see her, tomorrow," she said, deciding to wait a while. She didn't really know what she was going to say to her, and right now all she wanted to do was go to sleep, the conversation and revelations had taken a lot out of her.

-Fin-

Please review. Do you want anymore? 


	23. Chapter 23 Whole Again

Disclaimer: I don't own the ship, the characters, or anything at all.

Chapter 23 – Whole Again

Elizabeth walked through Voyager's sombre grey corridors, to the captain's quarters. She wasn't really supposed to leave her quarters, but she couldn't sleep. Every time she closed her eyes questions came flooding into her mind followed by the captain's words, 'I was raped.' Everything about this whole nightmare made her feel positively sick, but she couldn't just ignore it, she had to face up to who she was or what she was.

She stopped outside the captain's doors, before hesitantly ringing the door chime. She wondered if the captain would be angry, after all it was 03:00 and she really should be in bed. She didn't have to wait long to find out she heard the captain's voice, "Come in." 

Elizabeth did as she was asked, and stepped through the doors. The room inside was dark, the lights must have been on minimal, Elizabeth strained her eyes trying to see the captain. After a few minutes she made out her figure by the view port. 

"Captain," she said her voice almost a whisper. The captain spun around, obviously surprised that her night caller was Elizabeth. She didn't say anything for a little while, but stood and took her daughter in tears glistening in her eyes. 

Elizabeth felt a bit uncomfortable, breaking the silence she said, "I'm sorry for what I said earlier. I didn't mean it, I was just angry."

The captain smiled at her and held out her arms, hoping Elizabeth would accept the gesture. Elizabeth practically ran to her, revelling in the aura that surrounded the captain, her mother. 

"There's no need to be sorry," the captain said gently, stroking Elizabeth's head. Elizabeth just shook her head and sobbed, it was all becoming too much for her to cope with. The captain sighed, gently rocking her back and forth, knowing how much she needed to be reassured and loved right now.

After a few minutes, Elizabeth managed to stifle her sobs enough to say, "I should have been more understanding, you've had to live with far more pain than I will have too."

The captain bit her lip; she wasn't going to let Elizabeth see her cry, not again, not over this. She tilted her head back resting it on the bulkhead behind her. 

"The only pain I've had to live with is losing you. Knowing you were alive, but knowing I couldn't be with you, help you, and love you. Knowing you wouldn't even know I was your mother," her voice broke towards the end. 

Elizabeth squeezed her tightly, "I know now, that's all that matters right?" she asked.

The captain looked down at her, Elizabeth's cheeks streaked with tears, her eyes shining expectantly. She smiled and nodded, "Yes, that's all that matters."

Elizabeth sighed contently, after all these years she now possessed the one thing she had spent her whole life searching for, she had a mother, someone to love and care for her, and someone for her to love and care about. Only this wasn't just her mother it was also her idol, she couldn't remember a time that she hadn't idolised Kathryn Janeway. 

"I'm sure you want to know just why I gave you away," the captain said, her voice betrayed her pain.

Elizabeth nodded.

"Well, after I was raped, he left me there, unconscious on a deserted woodland path. Fortunately a group of crewmen found me, and took me back to the ship. The doctor repaired the damage, she suggested I go for counselling, but I refused. I couldn't face going over it all over again. 

After the rape I threw myself into my work, and didn't look back. Two months later, however, I was forced to look back. I was on the bridge during an attack, and was knocked unconscious. When I woke up in sickbay, the doctor said she had some," the captain paused, remembering the doctor had phrased it as bad news, she couldn't tell Elizabeth that, "news. I was pregnant and the dates fitted that of the rape, besides the fact I hadn't been with anyone for over a year. She told me she could abort it if that was what I wanted, but I didn't, I couldn't, I had always wanted a child more than anything," she stopped to look down at Elizabeth. Elizabeth was clinging to the captain tightly, her eyes closed, her face a mask of anger and hate. 

"I took leave and had you, everything was fine until then. You see, Admiral Paris had attempted to catch him, he had issued public alerts, and when it became known that I was pregnant by him the campaign was stepped up. Of course they never did catch him, all it served to do was tell him that he had a baby daughter. 

Once he heard, he came after us we managed to hide from him for two whole years. However he managed to track us down, one day when you were playing at the park, he came up behind me. He tried to grab you but I got their first," she tightened her grip on Elizabeth, burying her face in her hair.

"After that he sent numerous threats, he even tried to snatch you from our house. I've never been so afraid, I couldn't let him get to you, you were too precious. So, I gave you to Admiral Paris and his wife, and as you know you left earth. I told him you had been killed in an accident, it felt like you were dead, only it was worse because I knew you were alive and missing your mommy, the same mommy that in a couple of years time you wouldn't even recognise. He believed it, I was acting like you were dead, I couldn't leave the house, I just stayed in bed. 

You on the other - hand where becoming used to your new life on Mars. Eventually I went back to Starfleet, and that's why I'm here now, but after that day my life was never the same again. I became a shadow of the person you made me, but now I feel whole again."

They were both holding each other very tightly, both crying and both being comforted by the other.

-Fin-

Please review. Only one more chapter to go.  


	24. Chapter 24 Q

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, ship, or anything at all.

Chapter 24 – Q 

Elizabeth woke up, her vision blurred by sleep. She moved her head to look at the captain sat next to her on the sofa, and instantly regretted it. She had one hell of a stiff neck. She moved slightly, wondering f the captain was awake or was she still asleep? She decided she must still be asleep seen as she wasn't moving, but sat with her head tilted slightly back, and her arms around Elizabeth. Elizabeth couldn't move with out waking her, so she attempted to stay as still as possible.

After a few moments the door chime rang, waking the captain. She opened her eyes, and said "Come" almost automatically. Chakotay walked in, and smiled when he saw Elizabeth. The captain smiled back at him. 

"What can I do for you, Chakotay?" she asked. 

"I'm sorry to disturb you, but we tried to call you over the conn. When you didn't answer I thought it best to come and see why you hadn't come to the bridge myself," he said, almost apologetically.

The captain nodded, "I see. I won't be on the bridge this morning," she said, inclining her head in Elizabeth's direction.

Chakotay grinned knowingly, "Well I'll be getting back to the bridge," he said, feeling like an intruder.

Chakotay turned and left, the doors swishing closed behind him. He was pleased to see the two of them getting on so well. He knew that it was what Kathryn wanted more than anything; he could see it in her eyes. Now she appeared to be truly happy, she deserved to be in his opinion. Especially after everything she had been through. 

As for Elizabeth, he wanted to get to know her; no doubt she was her mothers daughter. He had heard that from several crewmembers since the crew had found out that the two were mother and daughter. Of course they didn't now the whole story, they never would. Kathryn deserved her privacy and he doubted Elizabeth would want anyone else to know about the origins of her life.

He sighed, as he entered the turbo lift, perhaps now things would go back to normal. This whole situation had started weeks ago, maybe even a month, he couldn't really remember. What he could remember was the look of total devastation on Kathryn's face the night he had found her in her quarters when she was supposed to be having dinner with him. He shook his head that was all in the past now, and from what he could see the future for all of them looked a lot brighter.

That Evening 

Elizabeth sat across from Chakotay at a small table in the mess hall. Elizabeth picked up her fork and pushed her food around the plate for a few seconds, Chakotay watched her grinning. He knew she hadn't eaten much today, and had promised the captain he would make her eat something, but he couldn't in all fairness make her eat that. 

The table had gone quite after Elizabeth had given Chakotay a flawless rendition of the day's events; including her argument with the doctor. Elizabeth seemed to be tired from the excitement of the last few days, from what he could tell.

"Missing your mom?" he asked, striking up conversation.

"No, well not really she had to work. What is this?" she asked, picking the lump of green up with her fork before tossing it back onto the plate. 

"Leola Root," Chakotay said, noting her reaction.

"Ahh I've heard about this," she said, pushing her plate in front of her. Suddenly loosing her appetite, remembering her mothers fond terminology of Leola Root as 'Neelix's favourite poison'.

Chakotay continued eating in silence, as Neelix hummed in the background. Elizabeth sighed, she was tired, the most tiring part of the day had been arguing with the doctor, who seemed to think she was picking up her, mothers bad habits. Elizabeth had shunned this idea, with several spurious remarks. None of which she would care to repeat, eventually she had been saved by Tom. 

"So, do you want to stay here?" Chakotay asked, disrupting Elizabeth's train of thought. 

She looked a little uncomfortable, because if she was truly honest with herself she wasn't completely sure. She had so much back on earth; here she had her mom and Tom. They both meant a lot to her, but so did the people back on earth. 

"I don't know," she said, quietly, avoiding Chakotays gaze.

"Oh.." he said.

"I miss earth, I miss the people, and everything. Don't get me wrong I love voyager, I found someone, something I thought I would never have," she said trying to balance her argument.

Chakotay was about to reply, but before he could open his mouth there was a blinding flash of light and Q appeared lounged across the table. Elizabeth instinctively moved away.

"It's decision time," he said.

-Fin-

Please review. I was going to end it here, but I have been persuaded to carry on. So, does Elizabeth leave voyager or does she stay?


	25. Chapter 25 Guests

Disclaimer: I don't own the ship, the characters, or anything at all.

Chapter 25 – Guests 

Elizabeth sat very still, shocked by Q's reappearance – she hadn't expected to see him again.

"Q?" she said, quietly.

"Well, what are you going to do? Stay here or go back to your beloved earth?" he asked, grinning smugly.

Elizabeth looked at Chakotay, then at her half eaten plate of food, before looking Q straight in the eye.

"I don't know," she whispered.

"Ah Kathy, so good of you to join us," he said smirking as the captain walked through the doors.

Elizabeth spun around to see the captain stood just inside the doorway, fighting to keep her captains mask in place, her eyes portraying a small portion of the fear she felt. She was instantly on her guard when she saw Q.

"What are you doing here, Q?" she asked, harshly.

"Giving Elizabeth the chance to go back to earth," he said, watching the captain's face as she turned to face Elizabeth.

"Do you want to go?" she asked her, quietly.

"I don't know," Elizabeth said, feeling terribly guilty and unable to look the captain in the face – she looked so alone and pained.

"Can't you take Voyager back too, Q?" she asked, hopefully.

"No, I brought you here, I can only take you back," he said putting an end to all thoughts of having everything she wanted.

"I have a few friends with me to help you decide" Q said, grinning.

He clicked his fingers and Deanna Troi an Admiral Paris appeared just behind Q. they looked shocked and surprised as they took in their surroundings, and the people before them. Neither spoke.

Elizabeth didn't wait long before running over to them and throwing herself into their waiting arms. Q watched the reunion for a moment, before realising he had forgotten someone – Tom Paris. He clicked his fingers and a confused Tom appeared next to the captain. He starred at the scene in front of him then at the captain. She had gone deathly white, her eyes were full to the brim with tears, and she looked so alone and defeated.

The captain felt a comforting hand on her shoulder; she turned slightly to see Chakotay stood behind her, and Tom. Turning back she looked at the scene in front of her knowing she had already lost. She had let Elizabeth down, whereas the two people holding her daughter now hadn't, they had been there for her, helped her through her childhood. The captain looked away she couldn't cop with all of this, when she looked back again she found Admiral Paris stood in front of her. He pulled her into a quick embrace, knowing how she must be feeling; he whispered, " She will always be your daughter, Kathryn."

Admiral Paris let the captain go and turned to face his son, extending his arms towards Tom. Tom looked at him tears welling in his eyes; he glanced at Elizabeth who stood behind the Admiral with an arm around Deanna Troi. She merely nodded encouragingly, on that note Tom stepped forward into his fathers embrace.

"I'm proud of you son," the Admiral, said so all could here.

After a few moments Q spoke up, "You have 24 hours to make a decision," and with that he left. Elizabeth looked around slightly confused – she had expected Q to take the admiral and Deanna back to earth. Not that she didn't want them to stay. 

Obviously they were also confused, "Q, you cant leave us here. I have a very important meeting tomorrow," Admiral Paris exclaimed, exasperated by the omnipotent being.

Elizabeth smiled; he hadn't changed at all, always work orientated.

"Why don't I show you to your quarters," Chakotay said, seeing that Kathryn needed some time to get used to this. 

"What a good idea," Admiral Paris muttered, heading for the mess hall doors. Just as he was about to leave he turned around, "Kathryn, perhaps you could show me around Voyager this evening," he said. The captain nodded at him, as the small party consisting of Chakotay, Admiral Paris, Deanna and Elizabeth left.

The captain glanced at Tom before heading for the exit. 

"Captain," Tom said, the captain stopped but didn't turn to face him.

"I think she'll stay," he said, reassuringly.

The captain wasn't so sure, "I hope so, Tom. I hope so," was all she could say. She left for the bridge, and Tom went to sickbay, both feeling the need to absorb themselves in their work.

-Fin-

Please review, I would love to hear how you think it's going to end will she stay or will she go? 


	26. Chapter 26 Friendship

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, the ship, or anything at all.

Chapter 26 – Friendship 

The Captain had retired to her quarters with a headache, the truth was she couldn't cope with having dinner with Voyager's guests, she couldn't watch someone else play mother to her daughter it hurt too much. It only served to make her realise what she gave up all those years ago, what she gave up and they took. 

If she truly admitted it to herself she was afraid, afraid she was too late, afraid Elizabeth already had a mother and didn't need her. She wanted to believe she was just being paranoid, but she had sensed it as soon as they had arrived, Deanna had taken her place at Elizabeth's side. 

She sighed, resting her head against the cool glass of the viewport. Just as she had told Elizabeth, opened her heart to her, Elizabeth had turned away, turned to someone else. Last night the two of them had been so close, but now she felt that they couldn't be further apart.

She went over the events of the afternoon in her mind; she had shown Admiral Paris around Voyager as she had promised. She had been disappointed when Elizabeth hadn't joined them, instead preferring to catch up with Deanna Troi. The Admiral appeared to understand her pain – he didn't speak on anything but Voyager and its crew on the tour. After the tour Kathryn had excused herself from dinner, and fled to the sanctuary of her quarters.

Now, here she was sat alone in her quarters drinking another cup of coffee. Suddenly she heard the doorbell ring, bringing her out of her wallowing. She sighed, wondering whether or not to ignore it. 

"Come in," she said, hoping against hope it might be Elizabeth. 

Chakotay entered, his face a mask of worry and understanding.

"Kathryn," he whispered sitting down next to her on the sofa.

"Chakotay, I'm going to lose her, again, aren't I?" she said, quietly as though it were written in stone.

"I don't know, Kathryn. I know how much she cares about you though," he said gently.

She put her coffee cup down on the table with a clank, "Not as much as she cares for them, eh Chakotay," she stated. She knew she was being selfish, expecting Elizabeth to spend time with her, who she had been with for the last few days, rather than spend time with the people who she had grown up loving, the people who until today had thought she was dead. 

"I don't know, but if you hide away in here you'll never find out. She was worried when you didn't turn up tonight, she missed you," he said, drawing on the good things. He saw the Captain smile sadly.

"I missed her too. I'm so scared, Chakotay. She's everything to me, my biggest achievement. Now, just as I have her with me again I'm going to lose her, " she said, tears trickling down her cheeks.

"You don't know that," he said, taking her small hand in his large one. Chakotay was just pleased to have his friend back, pleased she opened up to him, and hopeful that he would be able to help her.

"Where is she now?" she asked, wiping at the tears ferociously.

"She's with the others. They had just finished the main course when I left. She wanted to come with me, but I persuaded her to stay," he said quietly, wondering if she would be angry with him. 

It seemed she had barely noticed what he had said, she stood up straightened her uniform and steeled herself for what she might have to witness, and strode out the door. Chakotay smiled, slightly surprised at how easy it had been to talk her around. He stood up and followed her out the door.

They arrived in the mess hall to find everyone finishing their desserts off. As soon as they walked in, Elizabeth stood up and went to the Captain, hugging her tightly. She felt guilty about early she hadn't meant to leave the Captain out, but she knew that's how the Captain felt, and she was going to do her best to rectify the situation. She had hoped that the Captain and Deanna would become friends, but she doubted that now, she could see how much Deanna being here hurt her, but she couldn't just stop loving Deanna just because the Captain was jealous.

"I need to talk to you later," she whispered into the Captains ear.

The Captain nodded, she felt sick to the bottom of her stomach - terrified Elizabeth was going to tell her she was leaving.

Deanna had been the one to tell Elizabeth of her mother's fears; she had sensed them almost immediately. Elizabeth was worried now, she wished she didn't have to choose, she knew now that whatever choice she made would have a deep impact, perhaps irreparable impact on both sides.

She took the Captains hand, and led her to the seat in between her and Tom. Elizabeth was pleased with the progress Tom and their father was making. She hadn't seen them get on this well in years; she hoped they managed to work out their differences before her father left. 

The meal carried on amicably, everyone seemed to be relatively happy as far as Elizabeth could see. She looked around the table, the Captain and Chakotay were discussing something or other, as was her father and Tom, and then there was Deanna and herself, Deanna was telling her everything that had been happening on the Enterprise.

A little while later, everyone had finished their meals, Chakotay had been the first to excuse himself and turn in for the night, followed by Deanna who had given Elizabeth a quick hug before leaving, the Captain had seen but managed to swallow her feelings. Admiral Paris left after giving Elizabeth a hug, and making her promise she wouldn't be long. One of his first requests on arriving had been that Elizabeth and he share quarters for the duration of his stay, both the Captain and Commander had agreed to this. 

Tom was the last to leave, after a few minutes of conversation he left giving Elizabeth a quick hug on the way out. This left Elizabeth and the Captain alone in the mess hall.

Elizabeth felt a little uncomfortable, but she knew she had to tell the Captain how she felt. The Captain seemed to know that she was fighting herself, because she pulled her into a hug.

"So, what is it you want to talk about?" she asked, hoping she didn't sound as afraid as she felt.

"Well," Elizabeth paused, before rushing on, "I want you to know that I love, and respect you for what you did," she said quietly, pausing before adding, "mom."

This last word appeared to affect the Captain more than anything else Elizabeth had thought it might. The captain closed her eyes, and swallowed hard.

"Thank you sweetheart, I love you more than anything," she whispered her voice thick with emotion, as she looked Elizabeth straight in the eyes.

The Captain held Elizabeth to her tightly, whilst blinking away the tears that were threatening to overflow. Both of them had been affected deeply by one another's heartfelt words.

-Fin-

Please review, not long to go now. A couple more chapters I think.


	27. Chapter 27 Sick

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, the ship, or anything at all.

Chapter 27 – Sick 

Elizabeth awoke, feeling ill; her head ached, she felt dizzy when she moved and sick. She attempted to stand only to collapse back onto the makeshift bed, eliciting a groan. Admiral Paris must have heard her, as he strode through the partition between the main room and the bedroom area.

"Elizabeth, honey, what's wrong?" he asked, sitting down next to her and placing a hand on her damp forehead. She was burning up, and that was no lie. 

"Liz, I'm going to call the doctor," he said tapping his commbadge, his face shadowed by concern.

"No, I'm okay, just a little dizzy that's all, I'll……" she trailed off as the doorbell rang.

"Enter," the admiral said turning on the makeshift bed to face the door. 

Captain Janeway entered, "Good morning," she said. The admiral hid Elizabeth's face from her view. At the sound of her mother's voice Elizabeth shrunk into the covers, this was just what she didn't need. Now, she would have to go to sickbay. 

"Kathryn, she's not well I'm afraid," he said, shifting slightly so that she could see Elizabeth's face. In one swift movement the captain was knelt next to Elizabeth, so that their faces were on the same level. 

"What's wrong?" she asked, putting out a hand to stroke Elizabeth's hair. 

Admiral Paris sat watching the two of them, his hand lingering next to his commbadge. He sighed, the captain was very gentle and kind with her, it led him to the belief that perhaps Elizabeth would decide to stay here with the mother she had always wanted. He watched as Elizabeth told them captain how she was feeling, and he saw her reach for the captains other hand, gently squeezing it with her own clammy hand.

"I don't want to go to sickbay, please don't make me. I want to stay with you," Elizabeth whispered, almost in tears at the Captain's suggestion of going to sickbay. 

A slight frown passed across Janeway's face, but she smiled reassuringly, "Shhhh, I'm not going anywhere. The doctor can come and see you here if you want," she said, gently.

Elizabeth nodded, a tear sliding down her cheek. Admiral Paris sighed quietly, he felt anger rising in him, anger at Q, anger that such an innocent, young and harmless child should have had to nearly die, endure two weeks with Q and then be introduced to her mother – the woman she had always aspired to be like – only to have it all ripped away. After all, in a few hours time she would have to make her decision, himself and Deanna, or her mother and Tom. He knew how hard it was going to be for her whatever she chose, either way she was afraid she would hurt people she loved dearly, and yet she had to choose.

Captain Janeway turned to face him, and nodded – signalling for him to call the doctor. Within a few moments the doorbell rang, and the doctor and Deanna appeared.

"I was discussing counselling with the doctor," she explained, following the doctor in Elizabeth's direction.

Elizabeth shrunk closer to the Captain, who slipped an arm around her protectively, all to happy to provide love and reassurance. However, she wasn't the only one, Deanna sat on the end of the makeshift bed and took hold of Elizabeth's hand. 

"Well, she has a severe case of the tulancan ague I'm afraid. I did tell her and yourself Captain that she should have stayed in sickbay until today," he said, justifying himself as he continued to scan Elizabeth with his tricorder.

The Captain sighed, "Doctor, I would like to keep her in my quarters, could you treat her there?" she asked, hopeful he wouldn't overrule her and order Elizabeth to sickbay.

He nodded, a look of understanding on his face – for all the captain knew this could be her last day with her daughter for years, perhaps forever.

He injected Elizabeth with a hypospray, "This should make you feel a little better. I will be back to check on you later," and with that the doctor turned to Admiral Paris who questioned him further. 

-Fin-

Hmmmmmm, who will she choose? Please review.


	28. Chapter 28 Invalid

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, the ship, or anything at all.

Chapter 28 – Invalid 

Elizabeth lay quietly in her mother's bed listening to the doctor droning on about her lack of appetite, and how she wouldn't get well unless she ate. Elizabeth didn't agree, nor did she care overly much. All she cared about today was making the right choice, a choice she would have to live with for years, perhaps forever. 

"Miss Janeway, are you listening to me?" the doctor asked, as he took some more tricorder readings. 

The doctor's words snapped Elizabeth out of her thoughts – no one had ever called her a Janeway before, and if she was honest she didn't know whether it pleased her or made her unhappier. 

"You're the first person to call me that," she whispered, looking up at the doctor.

"Well, if you stay here you're going to have to get used to it," he said, grinning.

Elizabeth was silent for a moment, "Tell me about her," she said quietly, almost as though she were unsure of whether she should be asking or not.

"Your mother?" the doctor asked slightly uncertain.

Elizabeth nodded, gazing at the doctor.

"Well, she eats to little, is far to absorbed in her work to take much notice of the detrimental effects to her body. She's always missing appointments for check ups. She suffers from headaches and exhaustion, most likely due to the stress of her job. She is prone to bouts of insomnia, she…." The doctor would undoubtedly have carried on with a full account of the captain's physical condition, had Elizabeth not interrupted.

"No, that's not what I meant," she said.

"Oh, I see, I'm sorry. The Captain's sensitive, kind, strong willed, resilient, and extremely determined. Has she told you about the time she was sent to the Borg?" the doctor asked.

Elizabeth looked curious, "No, tell me."

"Well, she thought it was a good idea to infiltrate a Borg cube. Quite insane if you ask me, but you know the Captain. Well they were of course assimilated, although that was part of the plan. In doing so they liberated many Borg drones by sending a virus into the system. However, it was me who was left to pick up the pieces, I had to repair the damage, and it wasn't pretty I can tell you."

Elizabeth smiled, "I don't doubt that, doctor."

Elizabeth was proud of her mother, there was no doubting that, and she knew she would love to stay here and be a part of this crew. Also, if she were here she would be involved in the excitement, which seemed to be less than a rarity on Voyager. Most of all she would get to be with her mom – that is what she wanted more than anything, she always had and if she went back to earth she always would, now she had a chance to change that.

"Well, I'll leave you to get some rest. I'm sure your mom will be back soon," he smiled to himself. 

Elizabeth nodded, wondering just when her mother would be back. After all she had promised she wouldn't be long, but then she didn't seem to want to go at all. She knew it had been her father's decision for himself, Captain Janeway, Deanna and Tom to go to lunch together. She knew all to well that they were going to discuss her and what they deemed was best for her. 

The foursome had already been gone two hours; surely they must have finished by now. She had seen the reluctance in her mothers face and Deanna's eyes, neither had wanted to leave her, both were seemingly afraid of what her decision might mean to them. She couldn't bear the thought of hurting either of them, but as things stood she knew she must. 

Suddenly, Elizabeth heard the sound of the door swishing open and shut, surprisingly she only heard one set of footsteps, quiet as though trying not to be heard. She tried to sit up somewhat unsuccessfully – exhaustion and nausea preventing her from lifting her head very far.

"Hello, sweetheart. The doctor said you were trying to get some sleep," her mother said, appearing in the doorway, apparently alone.

"I was, but I'd like it if you'd sit with me," she hastily said as she saw the Captain move back in the doorway as thought going back into the living room. 

Janeway smiled at her daughter, "Of course I'll sit with you," she said quietly, from what Elizabeth could tell she seemed to be upset over something.

The Captain sat next to Elizabeth on the bed, and Elizabeth pulled her into a hug, as much to comfort the Captain as to comfort herself. Neither said anything, they just held each other until Elizabeth fell asleep in Janeway's arms. 

-Fin- 

Please review. The next chapter is the end, well, at the moment anyway. Who do you think she should choose?


	29. Chapter 29 End of the road

Disclaimer: I don't own the ship, characters or anything at all.

Chapter 29 – End of the road

Admiral Paris stood outside Captain Janeways quarters, he had intended on Deanna Troi being with him however the doctor seemed intent on developing his counselling skills further. He didn't doubt that she would walk his path soon enough, although he doubted she would say what he was forcing himself to.

The Captain sat on her bed watching her daughter sleep, knowing this may be the last chance she had to do this. She heard the door chime ring and although she hadn't been expecting anyone, she knew who it was and with what purpose they came. She stood up and entered the sitting room, calling softly "Come in."

Admiral Paris entered, his expression serious and hardened, this was obviously not going to be one of the easiest things he had done in his career. He nodded at the Captain, who smiled unaware of what he had come for apparently. 

"She's asleep," she whispered. 

The Admiral sighed quietly, "May I?" he asked, indicating towards the bedroom. Janeway nodded, a sad smile gracing her face as she watched the Admiral enter the room. She wondered just what he was going to say to Elizabeth. She knew how much Elizabeth meant to him, but she also knew that he was a kind, caring and above all just man, all thought Tom would not agree. Elizabeth would make her own decision, although Kathryn knew from experience that whatever the Admiral said would sway her. 

The Admiral sat down on the bed beside Elizabeth who opened her eyes at the movement.

"Dad" she smiled, obviously pleased to see him. 

He smiled sadly, stroking her cheek with his hand; he loved her, she was his protégé, his daughter nobody could change that, it had been him that had helped her through all the important moments in her life only for it to end up here. 

Elizabeth's questioning eyes compelled him to speak, "You know how much you mean to me, how much I love you," he began. 

Elizabeth nodded understanding how hard this must be for him, "You want me to stay don't you?" she asked. 

"I can't make you stay but I can make you understand why. I don't want you to feel you have to, but I know you'll make the right decision. She needs you Liz, far more than I do. She has no-one out here, no-one to talk to on a completely personal level, no-one to reassure her, love her, you could do all these things for her. You mean the world to her" he said.

"I know" was all Elizabeth could think to stay. 

"Just think about it, that's all I ask" the Admiral said, hugging her. 

"What about Deanna, what about you? I couldn't be without you two, I couldn't. A letter a month wouldn't be enough, would it? Things wouldn't be the same we'd grow apart. I couldn't bear for that to happen" Elizabeth said on the verge of tears, she had to say it she couldn't let it build up inside her, all this emotion.

"We'll be okay, and when Voyager gets back – and they will – nothing will have changed, nothing, I promise" he said gently, rubbing her back in an attempt to soothe her. 

Elizabeth nodded through the tears; she hadn't been forced into making such a difficult decision before. Why did she have to choose, it wasn't fair, but then life never was.

"Decision time, " came Q's irascible voice from the doorway of the room. 

"Q, you're not supposed to be here for another couple of hours!" the Captain exclaimed walking over to him.

"She's made her mind up, Kathy," he said before entering the room. 

Elizabeth received him icily, glaring with an intensity that rivalled her mother's death glare. 

"Now, now, no need to look so hostile" Q said mockingly to Elizabeth, who merely raised an eyebrow.

"Q, she's not well, she needs us all now" she heard the Captain plead. 

"She'll always need you all, but she can't have you all. She must make her choice and you must live with it, no-one can make it for her" he said, turning his smirking face back to Elizabeth. 

"What about Deanna, you can't leave her out," Elizabeth protested. 

"I have no intention of leaving her out," Q said, snapping his fingers for Troi to appear. 

Elizabeth reached out for her as soon as she appeared, whilst the Captain looked on almost sure what Elizabeth would choose. Watching Elizabeth with Deanna hurt her more than anything, she knew how close they had become over the years she had been forced to distance herself. She wanted the chance to become that close to her little girl, to spend the amount of time with her that Deanna had obviously spent with her over the years. 

Her thoughts were interrupted by Q's impatient voice, "Well, what'll it be?"

Elizabeth seemed to cling to Deanna, desperate not to have to make this decision. She looked around her, at her father, Janeway, and Deanna, all seemed desperate to hear her decision and yet fearful of what it might be. 

Elizabeth stretched out her hand towards her mother, who took it gratefully and knelt down next to the bed. Janeway could see how much this was hurting her, how frightened she was, how much she needed the people she loved around her. She too was afraid, was it fair, was it right to hope that she would stay with the mother that had left her. Most of all, if she did stay, would she be able to be the best mother Elizabeth could ask for?

Elizabeth thought about what her father had been saying, glancing around the room trying to find something to fix her gaze on, something to distract her. Nothing. 

"I think, I think I want to stay," she said almost inaudibly, tears sliding down her cheeks for what she may have condemned herself to, or what she might have given away. 

Looking to her side, Elizabeth saw the indescribable look of love and elation on her mothers face, in her eyes. She clung to Deanna even tighter, closing her eyes and sobbing hysterically. Deanna seemed to understand Elizabeth's decision, and whispered words of comfort into her ear whilst rubbing her back soothingly. 

"Well time to go, you better say your goodbyes," Q whispered. 

"I love you both so much," Elizabeth said in between sobs as she hugged both the Admiral and Deanna tightly. 

"I'll always be here for you, always" Deanna said, one or two tears snaking their way down her cheeks. 

"You'll always be my daughter, I know you'll be okay here," her father said, kissing her head gently. 

With that Q disappeared with his guests, leaving Elizabeth to fall back onto the bed sobbing hysterically. The Captain who had stood back in order to let Admiral Paris and Deanna say goodbye, went to sit on the bed beside Elizabeth. 

"Thank you" was all she said, as she pulled her daughter into a tight embrace. 

Fin

Well, what do you think? Should this be the end or should I do the last chapter as planned? Please review.


	30. Chapter 30 Triumph

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, the ship, or anything at all.

Chapter 30 – Triumph

Elizabeth clung to the Captain, fear coursing through every vein in her body. What would happen now? The Captain held her tightly rubbing her back, in an attempt to allay her fears and stop her sobs. 

"Shhhhh, it's going to be okay," she whispered into her hair, planting a gentle kiss on her forehead. 

Elizabeth drew back the sudden outburst of emotion draining her and making her feel positively sick. She grabbed a small bowl the doctor had placed on the bedside table. The Captain seemed to understand what was going on and took the bowl from Elizabeth's shaking hand, and pulled masses of tangled hair from Elizabeth's tear stained and sweat soaked face. Elizabeth proceeded to vomit into the bowl, whilst the Captain rubbed her back and whispered soothing words. Elizabeth collapsed back against the Captain, pain clouding her features. 

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"It doesn't matter, as long as you're feeling better," the Captain said, gently wiping Elizabeth's mouth with a tissue. 

Elizabeth smiled weakly and nodded. Before she could say anything the doors in the main room swished open and Tom strode through, straight into the bedroom area. He grinned when he saw that Elizabeth was still there albeit looking very pale and only semi – conscious. 

"How are you feeling?" he asked, looking at the bowl in Elizabeth's lap and then Elizabeth herself. 

"I'm okay now," she said, attempting to reassure him. 

The Captain smiled at her daughter's bravery and resistance, it reminded her of her own unwillingness to give in. She nodded at Tom as though in agreement with Elizabeth whilst tenderly stroking her hair hoping to provide some comfort and love. 

"Captain, if you want to go I'll look after her," Tom said. 

"I'm…." she started but was cut off by the doctor appearing in the doorway.

"Perhaps we should move her to sickbay. I think it might aid in her recovery," he said noticing the reluctance in Elizabeth's eyes, but also taking into account her semi – conscious appearance and the liquid in the bowl on her lap. 

"I don't want to," she said imitating a small child. 

The Captain looked at the frightened child clinging to her, she wrapped her own arms tightly round her and tilted her head so that their eyes met. 

"I'll come with you, so will Tom, we wont leave you, not for a second" she said, glancing at Tom and then back at her daughter who nodded trustingly. 

The Captain nodded at the doctor, who had his hand on his commbadge, and a transporter beam encapsulated the three of them. They materialised in sickbay and laid Elizabeth on a biobed. The doctor began scanning her and injected her with a hypospray, whilst the Captain looked on offering reassurance and a hug when it was all over. 

The doctor told them he would be able to release her in a couple of days all being well. As he went to his office with Tom - who needed updating on his new sickbay schedule - the Captain sat down next to Elizabeth on the biobed. She held one of Elizabeth's hands whilst the other strayed to brush a strand of hair from her face. Elizabeth watched, she could see how much the Captain loved her, it was in everything she did, and now she could honestly say she knew she loved her too. 

Four Days Later

Elizabeth entered the holodeck, a smile plastered on her face as she took her place in the back row of the movies.  Tom turned round when he saw her enter and sit down.

"You're early, the show doesn't start for another hour," he said. 

"I know" Elizabeth replied. 

"Where's the Captain?" he asked, curious; the two of them had been inseparable ever since Elizabeth left sickbay that morning. When Elizabeth had been in sickbay the Captain had kept her promise to Elizabeth and had not left, not that she would have anyway he didn't doubt. He had witnessed the strength of the Captains feelings for Elizabeth more than ever in the past couple of days since his father and Deanna Troi had left. 

"She's in her quarters," Elizabeth said quietly. 

"She is coming tonight isn't she?" he asked.  

"Of course. I asked if I could come and see you and she said yes. She said she had surprise to sort out for me," Elizabeth said, a baffled expression crossing her face.

"Well, tonight could be full of surprises. You wanna help set the movie up?" he asked, grinning it would be just like old times.

"Sure" she said, half walking half running down the stairs to the front of the movie area. 

The two of them talked about old times and the future as they worked, laughing and joking, even breaking out in song at one point. After a couple of hours Elizabeth was beginning to feel very tired, Tom noticed and told her to go and get some rest in their quarters before the movie began. Elizabeth agreed somewhat reluctantly. 

Elizabeth entered their quarters and flopped onto the sofa and let her thoughts drift onto the surprise that was in store for her. She smiled to herself, closed her eyes and proceeded to fall asleep. Half an hour later Elizabeth awoke to find the Captain sat watching her sleep. 

"Good evening" she said with a smile. 

"What time is it?" Elizabeth gasped, suddenly sitting up only to make herself slightly dizzy.

"It's alright, you've got plenty of time. I came early because I want to give you something," she said, gently reaching for Elizabeth's hand. 

Elizabeth looked at her curiously; as she produced a small velvet box from a pocket in the beige trousers she was wearing. 

"What is it?" she asked, taking the box from the Captains outstretched hand. 

"It was my mothers, she gave it to me and now I'm giving it to you," the Captain said, watching Elizabeth open the box.

Elizabeth opened the box to find a small trinket inside, "It's beautiful, thank you," Elizabeth whispered through misty eyes. 

The Captain pulled her into a tight embrace, "I'm glad you like it" she whispered into Elizabeth's ear. Elizabeth merely hugged her back tightly, placing a gentle kiss of gratitude on her cheek. Elizabeth knew what giving this trinket to her symbolised for the Captain; it was a way of telling her she was her daughter, a part of her and her life. 

Half an hour later

Elizabeth and the Captain arrived in the holodeck to find that most of the crew were already there and seated. They slid into the seats Chakotay and the other senior officers had reserved for them. 

"Captain, it's nice to see you again," Neelix said, as she passed him to get to her seat.

"Thank you, Neelix," she said, obviously appreciating the gesture. 

The movie began and lasted for just over two hours. After it finished the crewmembers trickled out, many of them saying a few words to their Captain and her daughter - who never left her side for the duration of the evening. 

The senior officers were the last ones to leave, all seemingly preferring to stay in the holodeck. Tom was observing the Captain and Elizabeth from a small distance away, they were definitely getting closer, and he could see how protective the Captain was of her, perhaps that was only natural considering what she had been through to get to where she was now. Elizabeth seemed genuinely happy, he had wondered at first if she would be happy here, after all she had given up so much to stay. 

"Sweetheart, why don't you stay in my quarters tonight" the Captain said, holding Elizabeth's arm for some unknown reason. 

"I'm okay, I promise. I feel much better now," Elizabeth protested.

"Perhaps you should listen to the Captain. I may have released you from sickbay but you're still very weak" the doctor cut in. 

Elizabeth glanced at Tom, hoping he would help her out of this one. 

"She'll be fine. I'm a trained medic aren't I?" he said, reassuringly. 

Tom knew that the Captain just wanted to have her daughter with her, but he also understood that Elizabeth wasn't ready, not yet. He glanced at the two of them, the Captain looked slightly unhappy about the decision, he knew she would be but he also knew that in time she would get her wish. 

Fin

Please review.  I don't know whether to finish it here or carry it on for a little while longer. I have heaps of ideas (will Elizabeth move in with the Captain, what happens when they get home, etc.) but I want to know what you think.


	31. Chapter 31 Letters from home

Disclaimer: I don't own the ship, the characters, or anything at all. 

Chapter 31 – Letters from home

Four days later

Elizabeth walked down the corridor enroute to the messhall, for a cup of coffee and a quite corner to read her first letter from the Alpha quadrant, her father to be precise. She smiled, as Tom came jogging up from behind her he stopped just behind her and glanced over her shoulder at the padd containing her letter. 

"So, what does he say?" Tom asked inquisitive. 

"I don't know. I've only just got it, I'm going to the messhall to read it, want to come?" she asked. 

"I can't, I'm late for the Doc again," Tom said smirking. 

"Oh, well you better hurry then, he might report you this time," she laughed. 

"He might, but now I have you to keep me in good stead with the Captain" Tom said, laughing as he jogged off down the corridor. 

"Bye then" Elizabeth said, as she watched him with raised eyebrows. 

She entered the mess hall to be accosted by Neelix with a new delicacy, although it looked less than appetising. 

"Elizabeth, you just came in at the right moment," he said, indicating at the plate containing his new delicacy. 

"Oh, I'm really not hungry, I just came in for a drink," Elizabeth excused herself.

"Oh, well, I'm sure you'll be able to try them out tomorrow night," he said, suddenly looking bewildered. 

"Tomorrow night?" she said, questioningly.

"Um, I, well, I…. tomorrow is your birthday and the Captain thought it would be nice to have a party," he said, looking a little guilty. 

"A surprise party, right?" Elizabeth said, seeing how guilty Neelix looked. 

"Yes, well it was. The Captain, she'll…" he began. 

"She won't find out, don't worry," Elizabeth said, finding it amusing that she would have to pretend to be surprised. 

"Thank you, I'm so sorry," Neelix apologised bashfully. 

"Don't worry about it," Elizabeth said, glancing around the room for a quiet seat. 

The mess hall was busy this evening, almost every table was full, apart from a small one towards the back of the room, next to the window. Elizabeth wandered over, she noticed a few people were looking at her, some of the faces were familiar but most were largely the night staff she hadn't met yet. 

Elizabeth sat down and placed the padd in front of her on the table, just as she was about to begin reading it she felt a hand on her shoulder, and turned around. 

"Want some company?" the Captain asked, smiling at her. 

"Uh, no, I mean yes," Elizabeth said, what Neelix told her coming straight to mind upon seeing the Captain. 

The Captain raised an eyebrow, "Is there something wrong?" she asked, knowing it wasn't like Elizabeth to stumble over her words like that. 

"No, I'm fine. I just didn't expect to see you here," Elizabeth said.

"Who's the letter from?" she asked, taking a small sip of her coffee. 

"My dad," Elizabeth said, quietly. 

"How is he?" the Captain asked, knowing it must have been difficult for him to let his daughter go. 

"He's fine, he says he misses me," Elizabeth said glancing at the Captain over the padd. 

"I'm sure he does," she said, taking Elizabeth's spare hand in her own and squeezing it. 

"Doctor to the Captain" chirped the Captains commbadge. 

"What can I do for you doctor?" she asked, rolling her eyes at Elizabeth, who merely smiled. 

"You're due a check up Captain, perhaps you would like to stop by sickbay this evening as you've been unavailable all day," the doctor said, his voice tinged slightly with sarcasm. 

The Captain sighed, "I'm on my way, doctor."

Elizabeth laughed, "It's not that bad really," she giggled. 

"Shouldn't I telling you that," the Captain said with a smile. 

"You want some company?" Elizabeth asked, as the Captain stood up and drained her coffee. 

"Thank you," she said, pleased that Elizabeth was actually offering to spend time with her. It seemed, especially recently, that when she had been free from her busy schedule to spend time with her daughter, Elizabeth immediately found something to busy herself with. 

Sickbay

The doctor was surprised to see both Elizabeth and the Captain walk through the doors to sickbay, as was Tom who grinned mischievously and went back to work. 

The Captain was motioned over to a biobed, Elizabeth could see that she was reluctant; she seemed ready to talk about all manner of medical things from the recent injuries to the sickbay cleaning rota, anything rather than be submitted to a full physical. 

"Captain, if you'll just sit down," she heard the doctor say. 

"I'm perfectly fine standing, doctor" the Captain answered. 

Elizabeth exchanged a look with Tom, who was busy trying to hide the grin on his face. She headed over to say 'hi' and escape the tension building between the Captain and doctor. 

"It's nice to see the two of you together," Tom said in a somewhat serious tone, as Elizabeth appeared next to him.

Elizabeth nodded, not overly sure what she should say in answer to his comment, she was almost sure the Captain had come looking for her with an incentive this evening, perhaps because it was her birthday tomorrow. 

"Captain, you really can't afford to take chances with your health," the doctors raised voice floated over; he was obviously getting exasperated. 

"I thought perhaps you would like to stay in my quarters tonight," the Captain said, appearing next to the two of them. 

Elizabeth looked at her blankly; she had been half expecting her to ask this. She glanced at Tom who was also awaiting her answer. 

"I'd like that," she said, quietly. 

She looked at Tom, who smiled at her. The Captain slipped an arm around her shoulders, "Well, that's sorted then," she said, obviously pleased. 

Elizabeth began to wonder if this was the Captains way of making her feel comfortable around her, before asking her to move into her quarters for good. She had a feeling it was, and if she was honest she didn't know how she felt about it; living with a Captain could be overbearing and she didn't want to end up falling out with her, or causing her more stress than she already had to endure. On the other hand, she knew how much the Captain wanted this perhaps how much she needed this. 

Elizabeth and the Captain left sickbay for the latter's quarters, leaving Tom to handle the irritated doctor. 

Fin

Please review; I'd like to here your opinions on the story so far. I don't think I'm going to write overly much more on this story, perhaps a couple more chapters. 


	32. Chapter 32 Sarcasm

Chapter 32 – 

Elizabeth woke up relatively late the next morning, glancing at the chronometer beside her makeshift bed; composed of a sofa and several bedding sheets and a plain standard issue pillow. She sighed figuring that the Captain had gone to the bridge hours ago. 

Pulling the thin duvet cover off and standing up she picked up an empty coffee cup, picking it up she disposed of it.  She stood next to the replicator tapping a cheerful tune on the plastic outer covering whilst trying to decided what to eat and what was in her limitations to make – her cooking skills left a lot to be desired. With a small smile she decided to get dressed and head to the mess hall instead after all at least she could get eatable food there. 

She pulled her large brush through her hair once more as she strode towards the door before dumping it on the nearest glass topped table, and exited the room. A smile plastered on her face as she walked the endless corridors. 

Sitting later in the mess hall a plate of the special Neelix had prepared sat in front of her. The smell was enough to put her off….she was no health freak but the pungent smell of…she glanced at the plate in front of her realising she couldn't actually tell what she was attempting to force herself to eat. After a moment she gave up and pushed it away, draining the last of her fruit juice and making a move to go and find Tom. 

Popping her through the door into sickbay she could see Tom wasn't around and deduced he must be on the bridge. However, before she could turn around the doctor appeared. 

"Happy Birthday," he said, grinning from ear to ear, obviously finding it hard to keep the "secret" about her surprise party. 

"Thanks. Tom on the bridge??" she asked, making it clear that she was in a hurry to find her brother and not hear for another recital. 

"I believe so," he replied. 

"Thanks."

"Perhaps you'd like to come back later …. I have prepared a new song" he called lamely after her. 

Elizabeth entered the bridge from the main turbo lift; it was one of those quiet days. Tuvok sat predictably in the Captain's chair it was always less jovial when he was around; she smiled to herself for a moment. And, then headed over to Tom's station he was bent over oblivious to her presence. 

"Ahem," she cleared her throat, and tapped his shoulder lightly. 

Tom turned around rather abruptly, a grin crossing his features as he looked up into his sisters face, "Hey you, taken to sneaking up on people have you??"

"Same as you've taken to not noticing people around you," she winked. 

He grinned, "Lunch??"

"Just done breakfast," she smiled apologetically. 

"Do you have a reason for being here Miss Janeway or is it merely to distract Mr Paris from his work" Tuvok's authoritive tone drifted over. 

"No, I'll be going.  Captain in there is she??" she asked, receiving a sharp nod and a watchful eye as she crossed to the ready room door. 

Fin

Short but I will be adding now that I have lots of free time…. intending to wrap within the week J J


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